What hurts more? Lies or no words at all.
What hurts more? I don't love you anymore or I love you BUT...
How can you trust your instincts when you are an overthinking, perimenopausal, emotional basket case?
How can someone claim they do things to protect you from hurt while doing things to hurt you?
How do you trust a liar to not lie to themselves?
At what point do you just make the decision they can't make for them?
Why is it so hard for people to end relationships they obviously don't want to be in? Hurting you with their indecision while claiming the reason they may want to end the relationship is to not hurt you anymore.
How can the world keep being beautiful while your heart is breaking?
How can my brain ask so many questions without exploding?
Why when I drink alcohol does it not numb the pain? or silence the questions? or provide comfort?
How am I supposed to go out in the world and act like everything is great when I am trashed on the inside?
How did I THINK everything was great once again while he was "going through shit"?
Why does uncertaintity scare me more than anything in this world?
How can he just sit there not speaking? Why can't he make up his fucking mind? It's simple...can you fight for us or can't you? How important is this relationship? Doesn't the fact that you can't scream OF COURSE I WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THIS WORK mean you can't?
Why is honesty so difficult?
What was real in the past 21 years?
Do you know what love is?
Do I know what love is?
Does anyone know?
Am I wrong to think this silence is the answer? Am I overthinking it? It really seems simple to me...is it just me that thinks it should be a lot easier to say we are worth it? Does that mean we aren't? If only one of us will do anything, is there anything to salvage?
Why is writing not helping?
What will help?
Could I feel more alone than this?
It really shouldn't be that hard.
Am I to blame?
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