I met someone this weekend (not for the first time but my first impression wasn't off, I can say that) who reminded me of what it's like to be in your 30's. Granted I am not the best at remembering the past accurately (and to be fair, from what I read, none of us are (see how I am learning to be kinder to myself!)). Anyway.... I do remember thinking I knew a lot more than I thought I did. I remember advice from my elders being taken with a shrug and a "Whatever old person, you don't know it all, I don't need your help". I had been in therapy for a few years and thought I had ample tools and knowledge to get by. I didn't by any means think I had all the answers and I am definitely wise enough now to know I never will, I'm hanging on to the hope that as many Near Death experiencers have reported that when we die..we will finally have all the answers, without even needing to ask a question. We just "know".
So back to this person...I'm going to try to keep my account genderless to protect...nah I don't think it works if I don't tell the whole story which does require gender in this case....
So it starts with hearing that this guy left his 6 year old in the car while he ran into a Home Depot because the kid threw a fit and didn't want to go in- some supposed extenuating circumstances were used to defend the kid's behavior but does it really matter? He's six.
I suppose I should mention that because of my first impression of this guy, I am probably...most likely.... definitely... lol... a little biased against him going into this story. He's a wealthy, very attractive white guy. And while some people find him charming, I see through the charm and feel arrogance, entitlement and yes privilege (why do I always want to put a d in that word??). So, yeah... you could say I'm not a fan. I am trying really hard to be stoic about him but I just find him unlikeable.
Back to the story. So when confronted with the fact that all of us agree with his wife that the kid most definitely should not, in any way, for any reason, been left in the car (though she seems to think a quick trip into a convenience store would have been ok --gotta disagree there too! Geez!)...anyway... he says, as if this makes it ok... "I left the windows down a little and gave him the keys" WTF?? How is that better???
He demands to know why we think it's a problem and what we think could happen... as his wife already pointed out, there's the hold kidnapping thing... but he dismisses that without even acknowledging it. He seems to think that because he TOLD the kid to stay put and not get in the front seat, all would be well. Now you don't know his kids, but I've had some experience with them---they don't exactly follow the rules, in fact there's been issues with relatives correcting them when they were acting out and it not being their place to do so...or as all parents know it as "being a kid". I point out that it's not legal and again he's very dismissive. I want so much to scream "Your white privilege is showing but bite my tongue". Letting it go seems the wiser choice since I rarely see this twat. But, as we all know, white men can never let shit go.
A bit later with the child in question in front of him, he brings it up again and asks the kid if HE felt like it was irresponsible for him to leave him in the car alone....WTF again. The fact that he is even seriously asking a SIX year old this is insane to me... and maybe I am the asshole here...should I post it on redditt and see? It's enough that everything feels surreal in this country right now but now I feel like I am in an alternate reality with parenting? How is this even a discussion? He feels the need to again mention leaving the keys with him (which again is NOT the flex he thinks it is) and has to name drop that it's a Tesla. Which in my mind make it worse... I wouldn't leave anything I didn't want catching on fire in a Tesla unattended (ok maybe I am just being an asshole on this point, but Musk has done a lot of covering up the lawsuits against Tesla). At this point I finally make a white privilege comment. Because the reality is if his skin was a different color there would be many different potential outcomes here... especially in a Home Depot parking lot in 2025 America.
Anyway the point of my post is this guy thinks he has ALL the answers and what he doesn't realize (and I also never realized) is he isn't even asking the right questions! The difference is... I don't see him EVER realizing it. He'll just keep living in his privileged little bubble, being an obnoxious douche, buying his way out of whatever bad situations he does end up in..or his sons end up in... I just kept thinking of Brock Turner with this guy. Do I think he ever raped anyone? Honestly I couldn't say... do I think he'd believe he didn't even if he did...absolutely and I also know he'd never face consequences. I also know he will cover for his kids should they ever do wrong and how will they know right from wrong with him as a parent? After this conversation I heard him tell this kid ( a SIX year old) that the lesson here was to lie. But..get this... never tell the lie the first time to the person you are lying to. Make sure you perfect it first to sell it better. So if you have ever thought you are a horrible parent... remember this guy giving THIS advice to a SIX year old... what a fucking douche bag.
And that's the America we live in. I'd say most people at this party admire him, consider him successful and fall for his charisma. Not me... I define success by different metrics and he doesn't even come close to measuring up to my idea of success.
I'll end with being stoic. It's not my job to judge his life, I am just so grateful that I am NOT him and I really feel bad for that kid.
PS: I forgot this: When asked if he would do it again--Mr.Obnoxious replied "It's very rare that run errands and certainly never with just one kid" And it was said in a very "That's beneath me" way. Again...thank God I am not him!
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