I just reread my Absurd post. I should read it once a week. It really does sum up my favorite parts of stoicism.
My new favorite quote is "Nothing is enough for the person for whom enough is too little". I am guessing it's not an exact quote because I have seen it written a few different ways. I want something a little shorter that says the same thing so I can get it tattooed on my forearm, but so far it's just too long, I don't want that much ink! Epicurus said it. I guess I could skip the middle words... Nothing is enough if enough is too little. Still pretty long though!
I wrote my Absurd post right after the election. To say I underestimated how bad it would be is an understatement. HOLY SHIT! It has been unfucking real. We (the sane ones who are paying attention) joke that we want off this timeline, but seriously....it is surreal. So many are still tuned out to what's happening( in just over 100 days! )I don't even know where to start with what is the most outrageous stuff.
I didn't really come here to rehash the horrible shit that is going on anyway. I came here to say none of it is new. Go back in history and you find rulers and politicians behaving the same way. You find the rich being greedy to the point it bites them in the ass. As much as I don't want to be living in a time that will make history books, I DO want to live to see the other side of this. I KNOW (and yes, I realize how wrong I often am) but I know that good always wins, light always defeats the dark. What I don't know is the time frame. Will this be the undoing of democracy in our country? How long until the people rise? How many will die? What will society look like afterwards? Will it end with a nuclear war?
I did a research study regarding my thoughts on the probability of a nuclear catastrophe. There were all kinds of scenarios, tons of information, questions about what I thought might trigger it. I think catastrophe was defined as affecting 50 million people (not necessarily killing them all at once). I put the chance of that happening at the lowest number they would allow it was like 2/100%. This was including human error, AI error, deliberate war...every scenario they could imagine. I can't remember the time frame, may have been the next 5 years, could have been 15, I just don't remember because I thought the whole thing was ridiculous. That was BEFORE the election. Now.... now it seems absolutely in the realm of possibility. This man is so profoundly incompetent, stupid, arrogant... I would say evil, but honestly I don't think it's evil as much as narcissism and greed. Greed for power, money and most of all to be admired. He just doesn't understand that the majority (yes it IS the majority) of people see him for who and what he is. A pathetic loser that fails at everything. The ONLY thing he has succeeded at is conning the most gullible among us and is that something to brag about? Not really.
Ugh...this wasn't supposed to be about him. This is supposed to be about wasted worrying. There is only so much I can do. And I am doing it. I am now officially an activist, by my definition and I assume the actual definition. I have been to every protest since our local chapter of Indivisible formed. I walk up to 3.5 miles one way to get there and then march another 1.5 miles chanting with them. I have led the march, with a megaphone. This isn't my comfort zone. But it's that important to me. I am now the volunteer who handles the submissions to our website. I approve the events and the advocacy actions to be displayed on our calendar. I have attended virtual town halls with our state leaders (every one of them). I write to them, I call them. I sign petitions. I share info on social media. I boycott. I am fighting back because that is what I can do. Whatever happens I won't ever feel like I sat back and ignored what was happening. This has helped me with my anxiety because I see that I am not alone. That this isn't Democrat vs Republican. It really is right vs. wrong. And I am not quiet. I won't attend a family function with MAGA present and make nice and pretend like I accept their "views". It stopped being about viewpoints a long time ago. I don't want to be around people that I don't trust. And, frankly, I don't know whether these people would turn me in for a bounty, should he decide to come after people who protest his administration. What is their line? They haven't acted like there is one, so no, I won't pretend like we can "get along".
Phew.... where was I? Epicurus. That's my focus. Recognizing what IS enough and being satisfied with enough. That isn't to say that I don't indulge in things that are more than enough, I am just more cognizant when I do. For at least a decade, I have recognized needs from wants, and again...that doesn't mean I don't allow myself things that I don't need. I have plenty of stuff I don't need (hello Apple watch and silly flamingo band and 12 other various colored bands! lol). I just make sure I realize how fortunate I am. Gratitude goes hand in hand with the enough quote. Every day, multiple times a day, I reflect on what I am grateful for. That doesn't mean I don't have sad days still or unwarranted anxiety. I do. And I get frustrated and then I stop and remind myself of how ridiculous all of this is. Of how many times over the past 50 plus years I have wasted time worrying about stuff that seemed so important in that moment and now I can't even remember it. If only that was enough to make the sadness or the anxiety immediately leave....maybe someday. All I know (yes KNOW) is my life is immensely better because of all of the studying I have been doing. There is no end, I will practice stoicism and any other philosophies I come across every day until I die. And my life will be better for it.
I recognize that the last paragraph was "enough" enough to get my point across. All the other stuff ...welcome to my brain where thinking is never enough...but over thinking is! lol
No comments:
Post a Comment