Just a quickie

So it's been quite a while since I blogged.... we were really busy hiking somewhere far one day a week and now we are fostering kittens.

I had a lot on my mind but everything was still too fresh to put it out there. I guess it's been about 3 months since my last post...the one about becoming disillusioned by a so called friendship that wasn't.

I am not going to go into much other than to say, sometimes in the moment you can't see how toxic something is. I was refusing to take any blame for the end of the friendship but over time I have come to realize I was putting up walls and not being present in the relationship, so in that respect, yes, I was to blame. It was kind of what I was asking for (an end) and I got what I asked for.

The good news is, my life has been better for it. I have a piece of paper on the fridge....something I picked up from The Secret (the book about how to get what you want out of life) you write down what you want and look at it every day and you will eventually get it. It seems a little silly but I figured it couldn't hurt...all it says is "good jobs, happy, peaceful life"...Obviously good jobs is subjective...to me it merely means not stressful and pays the bills....all was going well there until they switched the hubby to night shift, but we survived and it kinda was the beginning of what ended the aforementioned friendship so in the end everything worked out!  Dave is back to days (except one night a week--which works out since I work one night a week, although they haven't been aligning quite yet) and our lives are much happier and much more peaceful. We aren't stressing about doing things on other people's schedules...we can have our weekend on OUR weekend and relax on our hump day. I am sure you can all empathize that feeling obligated to have dinner every week, right smack in the middle of your week, with an overcritical friend can be taxing. It was definitely affecting our (mine and Dave) relationship, hell even the friendship...it just wasn't enjoyable. We tried to explain that back East we only saw our best friends a few times a year, but getting that message out without hurting feelings was impossible. It SEEMED easier just to continue as is....oh my therapist would have a field day with that....that was always my downfall...she'd ask why I was doing something that didn't feel right or that I didn't want to do or not speaking up for myself and my go to answer was "It's just easier" and as I would sit there crying, she would say "It doesn't look easy from where I am sitting"   She will never know how grateful I am to have met her, she truly changed my life and I still use her tips and tricks every day...always quoting her to myself...


But I digress....so with all of our spare time to do what we wanted, when we wanted, we started taking day trips. No more than a 2 hour drive. We discovered lots of cool new hiking places. A dormant volcano....who knew? We saw vastly different landscapes from what we were hiking in the immediate area. We got a zoo membership to the San Diego zoo. And I convinced Dave to start volunteering at the shelter with me...so now we can play with kitties together. That led to the fostering. We are on our second "batch" of kitties. We have learned that all kittens are not the same...like not even close. The first ones were crazy...crazy energetic...we read how they sleep like 90% of the time...um, they didn't get that memo...they PLAYED 90% and CRAZY! Tackling each other, running fast as lightning...we eventually got 2 socialized a bit...one moreso than the other but one still didn't want anything to do with us. Well, this second batch is completely different...we don't get much info on them but it seems like 2 are from the same litter and one is a loner. The loner is so loving and friendly and bone thin...and the most playful. The other 2 are scared but different than the first ones...they would claw and fight to get away from you...these poor things just cower. They will let you hold and pet them but act like they hate it....well one has come around now and is even starting to purr and come TO me, instead of me having to go get her out of her hiding spot. But man can they sleep....sleep, sleep.....We will have these a bit longer than the first ones (12 days for the first ones) because they are younger and way too thin to be fixed yet. Hopefully the extra time will allow us to socialize them better....a recent adoption at the shelter was a stray that had been brought in as a kitten, she wasn't socialized and was there for TWO years(to the day!) before she was adopted. I had been working with her and she was letting me pet her from about an arms length and really starting to like it! A success story! But I don't want these kittens stuck there for two year....I take my role very seriously and spend as much time as possible with them (it would be more if they didn't sleep so damn much!!).

So that's what's been going on....seems mundane and boring....which is exactly what we want...a peaceful, quiet life, enjoying the beauty around us, enjoying each other and helping animals...is there really anything else one needs??

On a final note....allowing someone to control me (what I do, what I write, anything really) is something I swore I would never let happen again and somehow I ended up in that place, worrying about how someone else perceived me....not gonna happen again. I will be doing things MY way now and forever. And if you don't like it...stop reading....