I had a random thought the other night....which I often do, hence my blog title...
This thought prompted by Robin Williams' suicide and the shooting in Ferguson.
What do they have in common?
No one likes to talk about suicide and no one likes to talk about racial issues.
What if we DID talk more openly, without accusations, without shaming, WITH honesty about everything...race, sex, mental health, child molestation....everything?
What if we all admitted that none of us can know what it is like to be in someone else's shoes...we all have completely separate, legitimate interpretations of life. I don't know what it's like to be black, you don't know what it's like to grow up red headed, you don't know what depression or suicidal thoughts feel like...we could LISTEN to those people with those experiences and believe how they feel, not try to accuse them of overreacting or being dramatic.
Why can't white people admit that life IS different for black people? Is it because to admit that will somehow make you responsible for that fact? If you deny it then you feel no obligation to do anything to change it... Do we really think slavery was outlawed, the civil rights movement came along and now everything is better? Do you really, really believe that a white man walking down the street gets treated the same way as a black man? This isn't about ONE instance in one town. Why do you need to argue that facts aren't in? The black guy was coming after the cop...the black guy was a thief...the black guy did this....why can you not admit that any random black person in America, on any given day, is treated differently than a white person? That is a fact. It has nothing to do with economic background..ask Oprah...ask black lawyers, black doctors...try being black for a day...you will not be treated the same.
So when a black kid is shot, why do we rush to frame it so that it was justified? Why are we so quick to assume guilt, when our justice system is supposed to built on the presumption of innocence. Why are we so quick to accept a black man being killed over cigar theft but so slow to have outrage at a white man robbing millions of their nest eggs?
I recently watched a video on facebook about the secret tool in marketing....I tried to find it to link it here but can't think of enough words to google it....anyway....the big secret was YOU! She basically said if we, the consumer, didn't stick our head in the sand, all of the marketing strategies in the world would fail. She discussed how they make meat sound healthy by saying "farm raised", even though there isn't a farm involved, how they make it ok to feed animals antibiotics by saying "We are using the latest advances in veterinary medicine" but none of that would work if we didn't turn a blind eye to what we know goes on...the overcrowding in factory pens, not farms, the unknown effect of using these antibiotics....we don't want to know, because it makes us UNCOMFORTABLE. So we make stuff up to justify our continued ignorance. We won't accept our part in the problem.
What else makes us uncomfortable? Child molestation...do you know what could help stop this? How about the Catholic church stepping up with some real solutions? How about priests working it in to their sermons monthly..or maybe right into the CCD program. So kids KNOW it's wrong and the bad priests can't get to them with bribes to keep them quiet...because that is UNCOMFORTABLE!!
Why do people kill themselves? No one has an answer for this but one thing is for sure, it is an uncomfortable topic. A woman my husband works with has a family member who committed suicide, when my husband brought Robin Williams up, everyone hushed him, whispering about protecting her. I am pretty sure that she was already thinking about it, maybe even wanting a sympathetic ear...and if not she can ask for it to not be discussed but treating her differently because you are uncomfortable isn't helping anyone.
We ask people every day "How are you?" and we all know that the "right" answer is to say anything positive, no one wants to hear "I'm not doing good, can you help?" That would be uncomfortable. But, what if it weren't? What if we made it ok to be honest? We have campaigns to help girls feel ok about their bodies, we have campaigns to help homosexuals realize they are ok just the way they are...why can't we make it ok to say "I need help, I am (insert emotion here)"?
None of us like to be uncomfortable...and that's bad enough. to avoid issues...but when we get to the point where issues are brought to the forefront and we actively deny truths or look for ways to make the wrong seem right....that's going too far.
One treatment for phobias is to slowly participate in what you are afraid of....afraid of riding in an elevator, start out just looking at a photo of one...then go look at a real one...then step into one....then ride one....
I challenge you to start thinking about what makes you uncomfortable and then start talking about it and maybe someday we can have national discussions on these topics and start finding solutions.
I can dream, right?
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