I have become quite cynical. Through years and years of being disappointed by people, whether it was co-workers stealing or lying, drug addicted customers...I have seen so much that I would not have believed if I had not witnessed it myself. People have amazed me and not in a good way.
I realized how bad it has gotten when my friend told me that his Boot Camp instructor hadn't shown up for a few classes, this AFTER he had been given money for 10 future classes. Turns out he had been in a motorcycle accident and lost his leg...my first thought was "That SUCKS!" but my second thought was "It's a scam." My friend is out 70 bucks, unless you believe the optimistic trainer who thinks he will be back January.
I imagined this whole scenario where he goes to different parts of the park at different times of the day, different days of the week, telling unsuspecting newbies his "schedule". He shows up a couple times, gets them interested, pockets their money and then moves on to another park, or a different day. It could be quite profitable. Or I could just be reallllly cynical!
So I have decided....no more pharmacist, no more cynic! I am going to give people the benefit of the doubt again....I am sure I will be let down...oh dammit...there I go again! NO!!! I won't be let down!!! I am going to focus on positive news stories and good people! I live in sunny California and I am going to have a sunny disposition.....ok who believes me?
Wish me luck....it's my New Year's Resolution a couple months early!! Certainly I can make it til at least then....
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Oh MoJo, where have you gone??
Oh motivation...where have you gone?
I seem to work out and run more when I have a job...a friend suggested that maybe when you are laying around being lazy, it's easier to just keep being lazy (Thanks Ray!)....that could be it...
Actually if you look at my workout logs...I have been doing about the same amount of hours...if you count the hiking. For some reason I downplay hiking...like it's not REAL exercise. I think it's because I enjoy it so much. As much as I like running and doing Jillian DVD's, there is still a part of me that considers it hard...well maybe not the running...the hardest thing about running for me is just taking the time to do it.
Today was an especially tough day. I haven't even been running much...I was doing about 10 miles a week, but the past 2 weeks I have only gotten in 2 days of running each week instead of 3. And most of those runs have felt forced. Today was by far the worst. Normally if I just put my running clothes on the desire to run quickly follows....today I was about a mile from home and I just didn't want to be running. The weather was perfect, coolest day yet... I wasn't feeling any aches or pains, my legs didn't feel heavy...I just didn't want to be running. I tried to think of what I DID want to be doing and nothing came to my mind...so I just kept on running. I passed a walker with headphones and thought maybe I need to go back to listening to music while I run. The idea that maybe I didn't feel like listening to myself crossed my mind.... I tried to remind myself to look at the beauty all around me but even that didn't work. So I think it just may be that I am tired of thinking, more than tired of running.
When I hike, Dave is with me. I have someone to talk to, to listen to, to share the beauty, so I don't get distracted my damn thoughts. When I am not running, I am either on the computer...distracted...or reading a book, deeply involved with THEIR issues.
Even without motivation..I still manage to get the workouts in because I know how far I have come and do NOT want to lose my fitness. I even have races coming up and that isn't really motivating me.
I am hoping these feelings will pass...because it used to be the toughest part of working out was the work out...but I think it's even tougher to have these internal fights about just doing it already!!
I keep going back to "this, too, shall pass" and I waiting...even if it's not patiently!
I seem to work out and run more when I have a job...a friend suggested that maybe when you are laying around being lazy, it's easier to just keep being lazy (Thanks Ray!)....that could be it...
Actually if you look at my workout logs...I have been doing about the same amount of hours...if you count the hiking. For some reason I downplay hiking...like it's not REAL exercise. I think it's because I enjoy it so much. As much as I like running and doing Jillian DVD's, there is still a part of me that considers it hard...well maybe not the running...the hardest thing about running for me is just taking the time to do it.
Today was an especially tough day. I haven't even been running much...I was doing about 10 miles a week, but the past 2 weeks I have only gotten in 2 days of running each week instead of 3. And most of those runs have felt forced. Today was by far the worst. Normally if I just put my running clothes on the desire to run quickly follows....today I was about a mile from home and I just didn't want to be running. The weather was perfect, coolest day yet... I wasn't feeling any aches or pains, my legs didn't feel heavy...I just didn't want to be running. I tried to think of what I DID want to be doing and nothing came to my mind...so I just kept on running. I passed a walker with headphones and thought maybe I need to go back to listening to music while I run. The idea that maybe I didn't feel like listening to myself crossed my mind.... I tried to remind myself to look at the beauty all around me but even that didn't work. So I think it just may be that I am tired of thinking, more than tired of running.
When I hike, Dave is with me. I have someone to talk to, to listen to, to share the beauty, so I don't get distracted my damn thoughts. When I am not running, I am either on the computer...distracted...or reading a book, deeply involved with THEIR issues.
Even without motivation..I still manage to get the workouts in because I know how far I have come and do NOT want to lose my fitness. I even have races coming up and that isn't really motivating me.
I am hoping these feelings will pass...because it used to be the toughest part of working out was the work out...but I think it's even tougher to have these internal fights about just doing it already!!
I keep going back to "this, too, shall pass" and I waiting...even if it's not patiently!
Friday, October 18, 2013
Secrets to a HAPPY marriage
Ok....something pleasant for a change....
I have been with my husband for 17 1/2 years (OMG we are OLD!!). We have been married for 12 and it's been 2 years since we renewed our vows.
Has everything always been perfect? Absolutely not! And, complete honesty...most of the rough patches were completely my fault (big surprise, hunh?) The first couple years were rough because I had post partum depression and tons of guilt over leaving my husband...not the leaving part as much as the bringing my son up in a "broken" family. Not many people divorced in my extended family and I had a big family. That's not to say there were a lot of happy marriages either. It wasn't easy to end the marriage but, in truth, it should have never happened. I got married for all of the wrong reasons. No regrets...because I love, love, love my son! (see my sappy post about him going away to college!)
So the biggest secret is to find someone self less, caring and able to deal with your faults. But there aren't a lot of Dave's out there, are there? ;)
After 7 1/2 years together Dave left me on Valentine's day (I know doesn't sound so pleasant ...hang in there). He gave me the "I love you but I don't know if I'm IN love with you" speech. He had just been laid off of a job he enjoyed and his grandmother died suddenly...all of this within a week. While I think he's perfect...we do all have our limits. Keep in mind I was not exactly the best partner at this point and he had stuck with me anyway! It was an eye opener. I had kind of built a wall up and never really showed him how I felt. My logic was he couldn't hurt me if he didn't know how much I loved him and needed him. When he left, the pain was incredible...what a fool to realize by protecting myself I had pushed him away!
Needless to say he came back...after (I think it was) a day and a half. He had said he needed a few days and I was going up and down with emotions and was at the anger point and ready to change the locks! Thank God he came back when he did!
We talked and since then we have vowed to never let anything build up, to always be honest and I promised to start showing my love. The things he needed were so easy to do and things I wanted to do...a back rub, holding hands, basically just being affectionate.
It helps that we think alike. We have similar views on the importance of money versus happiness. Similar political views, both love animals, etc. I learned to trust him completely and stop trying to read into things and to TALK about things that might be bothering me (my first husband had cheated on before we were even married and I swore I wouldn't ignore "signs" anymore, even signs that were only in my head---again, I was lucky that he was patient and understanding but after 7 years I needed to suck it up and get over it!)
I tell you that it hasn't always been perfect so you know that it does take work but on the other hand it should not FEEL like work. IF it is that hard to make your marriage happy, then you need to really figure out if this person is right for you. There are some relationships that can not be happy. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you need or accepting that you can only give so much.
My first marriage would have never worked. I mean it could have lasted...I could have continued to bury who I really was to fit into what he wanted me to be. But is that a happy marriage...does it count that you are together for 50 years, if you aren't you?
I don't want to say that these "secrets" can fix a broken a marriage that shouldn't be, but if you are compatible people who have drifted apart these things may help.
TRUST -- it essential to any good relationship. There are easy ways to enhance trust...the most simple being DON'T BREAK IT...don't hide relationships that you think are innocent but may "hurt" the others feelings or that they wouldn't approve of. If they don't approve and it is an important relationship that you don't want to give up, you need to examine why they don't approve, is it valid? Was it a previous lover? Or is the other person just unnecessarily a jealous person? Can you deal with that?
COMMUNICATION -- again, no hiding shit, nothing! Be honest! Are you feeling like you aren't appreciated? Bring it up nicely and explain HOW you would feel more appreciated..is it simply a thank you...I was certainly guilty of this. Dave cooks, he cleans, he does the laundry, he grocery shops....he says he enjoys these things. That doesn't mean I can't thank him for doing them. A sincere thank you goes a long way.
LOVE -- seems obvious, right? But we all have different ways of showing our love. What does your partner want/need? A hug when they come through the door? A kiss before bed. Or simply not to be taken for granted?
APPRECIATION -- focus on the good. We all have faults. What made you fall in love? What makes you proud to be their spouse? Think about these things often....remember them when they do something annoying. Does the good outweigh the bad? Then stop dwelling on the bad and focus on the good.
SEX -- sure some may think this shouldn't be included but for most of us sex is essential. If you aren't having sex...why? Do you no longer desire your partner? Why? Is it just punishment because they don't do their fair share? Well TALK ABOUT IT....maybe if they knew they could get some lovin' for mowing the lawn that would motivate them!
No great revelations....because when you are with someone that you really want to spend your life with, you WANT both of you to be happy and you work to figure out what that means for you. You don't put their happiness above yours, because that thinking will fail every time. Relationships require two people and if you are both committed to ensuring the other is happy..not MAKING them happy but aiding in them being happy, you will both end up happy!
I have been with my husband for 17 1/2 years (OMG we are OLD!!). We have been married for 12 and it's been 2 years since we renewed our vows.
Has everything always been perfect? Absolutely not! And, complete honesty...most of the rough patches were completely my fault (big surprise, hunh?) The first couple years were rough because I had post partum depression and tons of guilt over leaving my husband...not the leaving part as much as the bringing my son up in a "broken" family. Not many people divorced in my extended family and I had a big family. That's not to say there were a lot of happy marriages either. It wasn't easy to end the marriage but, in truth, it should have never happened. I got married for all of the wrong reasons. No regrets...because I love, love, love my son! (see my sappy post about him going away to college!)
So the biggest secret is to find someone self less, caring and able to deal with your faults. But there aren't a lot of Dave's out there, are there? ;)
After 7 1/2 years together Dave left me on Valentine's day (I know doesn't sound so pleasant ...hang in there). He gave me the "I love you but I don't know if I'm IN love with you" speech. He had just been laid off of a job he enjoyed and his grandmother died suddenly...all of this within a week. While I think he's perfect...we do all have our limits. Keep in mind I was not exactly the best partner at this point and he had stuck with me anyway! It was an eye opener. I had kind of built a wall up and never really showed him how I felt. My logic was he couldn't hurt me if he didn't know how much I loved him and needed him. When he left, the pain was incredible...what a fool to realize by protecting myself I had pushed him away!
Needless to say he came back...after (I think it was) a day and a half. He had said he needed a few days and I was going up and down with emotions and was at the anger point and ready to change the locks! Thank God he came back when he did!
We talked and since then we have vowed to never let anything build up, to always be honest and I promised to start showing my love. The things he needed were so easy to do and things I wanted to do...a back rub, holding hands, basically just being affectionate.
It helps that we think alike. We have similar views on the importance of money versus happiness. Similar political views, both love animals, etc. I learned to trust him completely and stop trying to read into things and to TALK about things that might be bothering me (my first husband had cheated on before we were even married and I swore I wouldn't ignore "signs" anymore, even signs that were only in my head---again, I was lucky that he was patient and understanding but after 7 years I needed to suck it up and get over it!)
I tell you that it hasn't always been perfect so you know that it does take work but on the other hand it should not FEEL like work. IF it is that hard to make your marriage happy, then you need to really figure out if this person is right for you. There are some relationships that can not be happy. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you need or accepting that you can only give so much.
My first marriage would have never worked. I mean it could have lasted...I could have continued to bury who I really was to fit into what he wanted me to be. But is that a happy marriage...does it count that you are together for 50 years, if you aren't you?
I don't want to say that these "secrets" can fix a broken a marriage that shouldn't be, but if you are compatible people who have drifted apart these things may help.
TRUST -- it essential to any good relationship. There are easy ways to enhance trust...the most simple being DON'T BREAK IT...don't hide relationships that you think are innocent but may "hurt" the others feelings or that they wouldn't approve of. If they don't approve and it is an important relationship that you don't want to give up, you need to examine why they don't approve, is it valid? Was it a previous lover? Or is the other person just unnecessarily a jealous person? Can you deal with that?
COMMUNICATION -- again, no hiding shit, nothing! Be honest! Are you feeling like you aren't appreciated? Bring it up nicely and explain HOW you would feel more appreciated..is it simply a thank you...I was certainly guilty of this. Dave cooks, he cleans, he does the laundry, he grocery shops....he says he enjoys these things. That doesn't mean I can't thank him for doing them. A sincere thank you goes a long way.
LOVE -- seems obvious, right? But we all have different ways of showing our love. What does your partner want/need? A hug when they come through the door? A kiss before bed. Or simply not to be taken for granted?
APPRECIATION -- focus on the good. We all have faults. What made you fall in love? What makes you proud to be their spouse? Think about these things often....remember them when they do something annoying. Does the good outweigh the bad? Then stop dwelling on the bad and focus on the good.
SEX -- sure some may think this shouldn't be included but for most of us sex is essential. If you aren't having sex...why? Do you no longer desire your partner? Why? Is it just punishment because they don't do their fair share? Well TALK ABOUT IT....maybe if they knew they could get some lovin' for mowing the lawn that would motivate them!
No great revelations....because when you are with someone that you really want to spend your life with, you WANT both of you to be happy and you work to figure out what that means for you. You don't put their happiness above yours, because that thinking will fail every time. Relationships require two people and if you are both committed to ensuring the other is happy..not MAKING them happy but aiding in them being happy, you will both end up happy!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Family--when to throw in the towel
I have debated on whether to blog on this but a recent development has made me say "what the fuck..why not?" Blogging is cathartic and this shit needs to get out there so it won't be in here...my head...rambling along, trying to figure out where I went wrong, what I did..
I must have this strange idea of family... I assume that they should know you better than anyone. That if you do something they find offensive that they should give you the benefit of the doubt and confront you to see if your intent was really to hurt them.
I also have a strange idea of what an olive branch is...the one I envision doesn't have barbs on it.
I finally believe that you should own what you do, what you say...not try to rewrite history to make yourself look good or feel better.
There are two sides, of course from where I sit it's hard to be objective when relaying the other side but I will try to start with the facts, no emotion. I will start with her side, seems fair enough, right?
Per her and a third party she claims it all started because I didn't call her when I got to CA, after she so graciously allowed me the use of her home and dropped me at the airport at 4 am.
When I did speak with her and she mentioned this, I said "I posted it on facebook" and this apparently also offended her. Enough to unfriend me.
When I noticed that I had been unfriended and sent her a message "Did you really unfriend me?" (I was giving her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps it was a facebook glitch.) I got the following response:
Yes, yes I did. It is okay for you to decide to move, but talk about negativity, you have had nothing nice to say about OUR family for quite a while, I am sad for you that you have such a warped view of your TRUE family. I am glad you have a new one, hope you find everything you think you didn't have here. I am not interested in reading your bullshit on a daily basis, therefore the easiest thing to do was unfriend you, God knows you would never call to see how I am. We are two different people as I have said many times before, you will always be my sister, but my friends don't trash talk each other or their families. Good luck with your new adventure, I am sure I will see you again, but I just don't need to read your garbage posts. I hope you leave my children out of your future posts, seriously poor judgement on that one. You of all people know that employers are checking every source possible for future employees and to post on a public forum is just thoughtless and rude. I believe that is why we have email and private messages. Take care of yourself, and be true to yourself. Love always. ME
Now...nowhere in there do I see any mention of me forgetting to call her when I landed in California. Now may be a good time to add that I do not recall saying I would call, that I am not a morning person so with just a few hours sleep and then a full day of travel...on my own...terrified of flying and having to switch planes, extremely stressful for me...that I should have been given a little leeway. Not to mention that it was a Saturday and she always goes out on weekends and NEVER has time to talk to me on weekends, so I have generally avoided bothering her on weekends and did I mention the FIFTY BUCKS she took for the use of the bed and the drive to the airport? (oops was there emotion in that?)
Let's address the issues she does mention...the reason I believe she got pissed is because I posted that I didn't want any more contact with negative people and that if they wanted to be negative they could go away (something along those lines)--that was in regards to something my son had told me that my parents had said(that I would be back in PA within a year or so)...NOTHING to do with her. She hadn't been negative about the move, she had ZERO interest in it, didn't ask how house hunting was going, didn't ask to see pics once we settled...nothing. I knew then that she was pissed that I was moving. So what? I should stay there for her? Once she got rid of the second husband she had no use for me as is usual when she gets a new boyfriend...I deal with this like a grown up and don't take it personally, it is just life...but what? I should hang around because things weren't going that well for her and she may need me again? Seems fair..not! Again, she never discussed me moving and how it made her feel, just let it boil. It never stopped her from taking tons of my stuff from me..for FREE...because I find it kind of awkward to take money for stuff like that...I still can't believe she took FIFTY BUCKS for driving me 1/2 hour to the airport...she must get really bad gas mileage! I knew she needed the money and have always done stuff like that so she wouldn't feel she was getting a hand out (I paid her 100 bucks to plant some plants for us to improve our curb appeal--she needed money to file for bankruptcy (yup apparently when you're broke you need money to get out of being broke).
She goes on to mention family...and TRUE family...ahh the irony...My new CA family has never taken money to pick me up or take me to the airport....
Then there's the BS about finding everything here that I didn't have yada yada....if you have read my blog, you know why we moved here...it was rather simple THE WEATHER....had she ever bothered to shut up about how awful her life is and listen to me, she might have recalled that that was why we were moving, we have been discussing it for ten TEN years...she has discussed moving, never consulting me to see if I "approved" but apparently I require her blessing.
Next...my "bullshit"..well yes some people do find my posts annoying...how about hiding me? not unfriending me...seems a bit drastic...
Never call to see how she is....she just recently got a job...works from 9 til almost 7. She gets a break in the middle of the day for about 3 hours...I have told her on numerous occasions to call me when she's on her break, it varies and I am not psychic...I was in PA for 2 weeks, without a job, without a hubby and my son in school all day. She did not call ONCE! This was long before the alleged reason for her being pissed...the forgotten phone call once I got to CA.
The trash talking family...guess instead of agreeing with her about the horror of my mother lying about our sons being able to visit anytime in June and then scheduling a casino trip that made them have to rearrange their (our sons) travel plans I should have told her not to trash talk our mother! Whatever you say to her, it is never right...ever...
Then there is the post to her children that would ruin their future...I shared an article about someone who regretted using pot...never said that either of them had used it...it was merely to inform them because they had the wrong idea that I thought it was ok...they still think I allow my son to do this. What I have actually said, is should he ever be under peer pressure to do drugs do NOT do heroin, huffing, etc...that if absolutely must do something rebellious stick to pot. This is hardly condoning it! And I am pretty sure that failing a drug test is going to be a little more problematic than an aunt posting an article on your facebook wall...but wtf do I know? (in fact her daughter had to quit a job to avoid a drug test but I AM THE BAD PERSON!)
So why post now?
All of the sudden she reaches out to me...with that olive branch...
I deleted the messages we just sent each other because I am DONE.
Her olive branch was along the lines of 'Been thinking about you. Hope you are enjoying your new life and family. My intention in unfriending you was to avoid fighting. I love you, Your lil sis'
Once again with the family--little passive aggressive for a true apology. The unfriending was to avoid fighting...what was that message? Or did she rewrite history and forget that nasty little message?
After a few days I finally just sent her a text that said I found the second sentence to be offensive though not as offensive as the original message: thereby reminding her of what ACTUALLY happened. She then went on to say she missed sharing things with me. I agreed but said I was still too hurt. Then she goes all nuts again and rewrites history again...saying again that she was nice enough to save me money by letting me stay with her and then I didn't call.....She saved me about 20 bucks by staying with her and believe me had I known the shit storm that would erupt and then tried to be blamed on THIS friggin' favor, I would have just stayed at the damn hotel! SERIOUSLY!! How the fuck can someone be so blind to reality????
This may be a good time to mention she is allegedly bipolar. I say allegedly because although the therapist has been dissed as completely incompetent in regards to her therapy apparently his diagnosis manages to be the gospel....She hasn't seen a therapist in years and even when she did it was half assed. At one point she almost agreed to go to the one that helped me but I honestly believe she doesn't want to be cured..which is consistent with people with bipolar, so maybe she truly is.
All I know is I have been there for her through a lot of shit and all I need to do is miss one phone call and apparently all of the times I have been there for her are forgotten. But then it does seem quite apparent she doesn't have much of a memory.
Part of me is kind of glad she gave a half ass apology and then showed her true colors...that she is still really angry and really petty..because the last 3 months without any phone calls..hearing about how shitty her boyfriend is, how horrible her kids are and how her job sucks, well, frankly, it's been rather pleasant.
She is engaged again and it only shows that there are lots of lonely people in the world that will put up with a lot just to not be alone. I am NOT one of those people and I am ready to acknowledge that just because you are related to someone does not mean you have to like them or even put up with their shit!
Consider the towel thrown in...with no regrets...I tried, I really did.
I must have this strange idea of family... I assume that they should know you better than anyone. That if you do something they find offensive that they should give you the benefit of the doubt and confront you to see if your intent was really to hurt them.
I also have a strange idea of what an olive branch is...the one I envision doesn't have barbs on it.
I finally believe that you should own what you do, what you say...not try to rewrite history to make yourself look good or feel better.
There are two sides, of course from where I sit it's hard to be objective when relaying the other side but I will try to start with the facts, no emotion. I will start with her side, seems fair enough, right?
Per her and a third party she claims it all started because I didn't call her when I got to CA, after she so graciously allowed me the use of her home and dropped me at the airport at 4 am.
When I did speak with her and she mentioned this, I said "I posted it on facebook" and this apparently also offended her. Enough to unfriend me.
When I noticed that I had been unfriended and sent her a message "Did you really unfriend me?" (I was giving her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps it was a facebook glitch.) I got the following response:
Yes, yes I did. It is okay for you to decide to move, but talk about negativity, you have had nothing nice to say about OUR family for quite a while, I am sad for you that you have such a warped view of your TRUE family. I am glad you have a new one, hope you find everything you think you didn't have here. I am not interested in reading your bullshit on a daily basis, therefore the easiest thing to do was unfriend you, God knows you would never call to see how I am. We are two different people as I have said many times before, you will always be my sister, but my friends don't trash talk each other or their families. Good luck with your new adventure, I am sure I will see you again, but I just don't need to read your garbage posts. I hope you leave my children out of your future posts, seriously poor judgement on that one. You of all people know that employers are checking every source possible for future employees and to post on a public forum is just thoughtless and rude. I believe that is why we have email and private messages. Take care of yourself, and be true to yourself. Love always. ME
Now...nowhere in there do I see any mention of me forgetting to call her when I landed in California. Now may be a good time to add that I do not recall saying I would call, that I am not a morning person so with just a few hours sleep and then a full day of travel...on my own...terrified of flying and having to switch planes, extremely stressful for me...that I should have been given a little leeway. Not to mention that it was a Saturday and she always goes out on weekends and NEVER has time to talk to me on weekends, so I have generally avoided bothering her on weekends and did I mention the FIFTY BUCKS she took for the use of the bed and the drive to the airport? (oops was there emotion in that?)
Let's address the issues she does mention...the reason I believe she got pissed is because I posted that I didn't want any more contact with negative people and that if they wanted to be negative they could go away (something along those lines)--that was in regards to something my son had told me that my parents had said(that I would be back in PA within a year or so)...NOTHING to do with her. She hadn't been negative about the move, she had ZERO interest in it, didn't ask how house hunting was going, didn't ask to see pics once we settled...nothing. I knew then that she was pissed that I was moving. So what? I should stay there for her? Once she got rid of the second husband she had no use for me as is usual when she gets a new boyfriend...I deal with this like a grown up and don't take it personally, it is just life...but what? I should hang around because things weren't going that well for her and she may need me again? Seems fair..not! Again, she never discussed me moving and how it made her feel, just let it boil. It never stopped her from taking tons of my stuff from me..for FREE...because I find it kind of awkward to take money for stuff like that...I still can't believe she took FIFTY BUCKS for driving me 1/2 hour to the airport...she must get really bad gas mileage! I knew she needed the money and have always done stuff like that so she wouldn't feel she was getting a hand out (I paid her 100 bucks to plant some plants for us to improve our curb appeal--she needed money to file for bankruptcy (yup apparently when you're broke you need money to get out of being broke).
She goes on to mention family...and TRUE family...ahh the irony...My new CA family has never taken money to pick me up or take me to the airport....
Then there's the BS about finding everything here that I didn't have yada yada....if you have read my blog, you know why we moved here...it was rather simple THE WEATHER....had she ever bothered to shut up about how awful her life is and listen to me, she might have recalled that that was why we were moving, we have been discussing it for ten TEN years...she has discussed moving, never consulting me to see if I "approved" but apparently I require her blessing.
Next...my "bullshit"..well yes some people do find my posts annoying...how about hiding me? not unfriending me...seems a bit drastic...
Never call to see how she is....she just recently got a job...works from 9 til almost 7. She gets a break in the middle of the day for about 3 hours...I have told her on numerous occasions to call me when she's on her break, it varies and I am not psychic...I was in PA for 2 weeks, without a job, without a hubby and my son in school all day. She did not call ONCE! This was long before the alleged reason for her being pissed...the forgotten phone call once I got to CA.
The trash talking family...guess instead of agreeing with her about the horror of my mother lying about our sons being able to visit anytime in June and then scheduling a casino trip that made them have to rearrange their (our sons) travel plans I should have told her not to trash talk our mother! Whatever you say to her, it is never right...ever...
Then there is the post to her children that would ruin their future...I shared an article about someone who regretted using pot...never said that either of them had used it...it was merely to inform them because they had the wrong idea that I thought it was ok...they still think I allow my son to do this. What I have actually said, is should he ever be under peer pressure to do drugs do NOT do heroin, huffing, etc...that if absolutely must do something rebellious stick to pot. This is hardly condoning it! And I am pretty sure that failing a drug test is going to be a little more problematic than an aunt posting an article on your facebook wall...but wtf do I know? (in fact her daughter had to quit a job to avoid a drug test but I AM THE BAD PERSON!)
So why post now?
All of the sudden she reaches out to me...with that olive branch...
I deleted the messages we just sent each other because I am DONE.
Her olive branch was along the lines of 'Been thinking about you. Hope you are enjoying your new life and family. My intention in unfriending you was to avoid fighting. I love you, Your lil sis'
Once again with the family--little passive aggressive for a true apology. The unfriending was to avoid fighting...what was that message? Or did she rewrite history and forget that nasty little message?
After a few days I finally just sent her a text that said I found the second sentence to be offensive though not as offensive as the original message: thereby reminding her of what ACTUALLY happened. She then went on to say she missed sharing things with me. I agreed but said I was still too hurt. Then she goes all nuts again and rewrites history again...saying again that she was nice enough to save me money by letting me stay with her and then I didn't call.....She saved me about 20 bucks by staying with her and believe me had I known the shit storm that would erupt and then tried to be blamed on THIS friggin' favor, I would have just stayed at the damn hotel! SERIOUSLY!! How the fuck can someone be so blind to reality????
This may be a good time to mention she is allegedly bipolar. I say allegedly because although the therapist has been dissed as completely incompetent in regards to her therapy apparently his diagnosis manages to be the gospel....She hasn't seen a therapist in years and even when she did it was half assed. At one point she almost agreed to go to the one that helped me but I honestly believe she doesn't want to be cured..which is consistent with people with bipolar, so maybe she truly is.
All I know is I have been there for her through a lot of shit and all I need to do is miss one phone call and apparently all of the times I have been there for her are forgotten. But then it does seem quite apparent she doesn't have much of a memory.
Part of me is kind of glad she gave a half ass apology and then showed her true colors...that she is still really angry and really petty..because the last 3 months without any phone calls..hearing about how shitty her boyfriend is, how horrible her kids are and how her job sucks, well, frankly, it's been rather pleasant.
She is engaged again and it only shows that there are lots of lonely people in the world that will put up with a lot just to not be alone. I am NOT one of those people and I am ready to acknowledge that just because you are related to someone does not mean you have to like them or even put up with their shit!
Consider the towel thrown in...with no regrets...I tried, I really did.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Rambling again
I can't believe it's been almost 5 months since that long cross country drive.
I can't believe it took so long to find jobs. (and how easily I tossed one away --- I am considering Walmart to be like my hubby's car salesman job, he lasted 2 days...me 3 weeks! -- we both get a do over! I will chose more wisely next time!)
Some people we have talked to have said this was a bad summer...hotter than usual, wetter than normal and more humid. Others say it can be worse. There were a few nasty humid days, but certainly not as bad as back East and certainly not as many...And definitely not as much rain.
Every day I wake up and it's sunny (a handful or fewer haven't been), is that why it's so easy to get up early here? On my days off I used to sleep til 10:30 sometimes later. It is a rare day I sleep past 9, and my sleep hasn't even been good lately...hormones have been acting up and lots of hot flashes (YAY....not!).
We have been hiking once a week for the past month. WOW -- it is so beautiful... I will never get tired of the beauty out here. Who would think a desert could be so beautiful. Dave is right, the mountains add to it. They were snow capped the other day for a few hours...a very early snowfall, according to the locals. I thought I would dread winter, but the lower temps were ok, as long as the sun is out!
It feels like home now. It feels like we have always been here and it feels like this is where we should be. Yes I miss my son. But, once again, he has surprised me. He texts me regularly, he has called several times..without prompting and he tells me all the time that he misses me and can't wait for winter break. He even calls from his dorm room...while his roommates are there! He says it doesn't matter anymore and he realizes how silly he was being! I thought it would take years for him to reach that conclusion!
I can not think of one negative about living here. Yes, it would have been nice to find jobs sooner and better paying jobs. But Dave is starting in a whole new direction, a job that excites him...it will be so different than anything he has done and hopefully it will be enjoyable. He will be working for a private aviation place. They take care of private planes that land at the airport. They also have a contract with the local military base. He won't be stuck inside behind a desk. His views are amazing and he gets to see some really cool planes! There is potential for advancement and if his pay increases even just a little, everything will be okay! We have a cushion to lean on, didn't want to, but that's what it was for...so maybe we won't vacation for a while...that's why we had Africa, to give us great memories to last a lifetime. Life here is like a vacation...the weather is just so damn beautiful! And PALM TREES everywhere!!
We have fixed the house up to a level we can live with. There is more to do but it is WANTS not NEEDS. What we have...the life we have...we aren't sacrificing...we have a beautiful home, wonderful friends and most importantly each other. Our relationship is stronger than ever....that seems like a good future blog....secrets to being together for over 17 years and loving each other MORE...
I have no regrets, I feel I needed to say this. My blogs are often about crap that irritates me. I may seem like an angry person. I don't dwell on any of that stuff. The blog helps, it is cathartic to write it down. Keeps it out of my head when I lay down and can't sleep because my mind keeps running.... oh yes that too.....the running out here....no more need for a treadmill EVER.. I made it through the heat of summer with no problems. It is flat...that is good and bad...it is soooo easy to run on flat ground but if I race somewhere NOT flat, that may be a problem...I have been doing some running during our hikes and plan to keep doing that...I still want to do the Tram hike and the Tram 6k run...but am definitely not in shape for that yet!
There are people I will miss back East but it's pretty easy to keep in contact with them on the internet. And a lot of them we only saw a couple times a year anyway....and once we get situated with permanent jobs we will be able to come back for visits and they can certainly come visit us too!
I still can't believe how long it has been...it was a year ago we were settling on the house. So much to worry about a year ago...and it all worked out. The birds have adjusted great and so have we!!
I can't believe it took so long to find jobs. (and how easily I tossed one away --- I am considering Walmart to be like my hubby's car salesman job, he lasted 2 days...me 3 weeks! -- we both get a do over! I will chose more wisely next time!)
Some people we have talked to have said this was a bad summer...hotter than usual, wetter than normal and more humid. Others say it can be worse. There were a few nasty humid days, but certainly not as bad as back East and certainly not as many...And definitely not as much rain.
Every day I wake up and it's sunny (a handful or fewer haven't been), is that why it's so easy to get up early here? On my days off I used to sleep til 10:30 sometimes later. It is a rare day I sleep past 9, and my sleep hasn't even been good lately...hormones have been acting up and lots of hot flashes (YAY....not!).
We have been hiking once a week for the past month. WOW -- it is so beautiful... I will never get tired of the beauty out here. Who would think a desert could be so beautiful. Dave is right, the mountains add to it. They were snow capped the other day for a few hours...a very early snowfall, according to the locals. I thought I would dread winter, but the lower temps were ok, as long as the sun is out!
It feels like home now. It feels like we have always been here and it feels like this is where we should be. Yes I miss my son. But, once again, he has surprised me. He texts me regularly, he has called several times..without prompting and he tells me all the time that he misses me and can't wait for winter break. He even calls from his dorm room...while his roommates are there! He says it doesn't matter anymore and he realizes how silly he was being! I thought it would take years for him to reach that conclusion!
I can not think of one negative about living here. Yes, it would have been nice to find jobs sooner and better paying jobs. But Dave is starting in a whole new direction, a job that excites him...it will be so different than anything he has done and hopefully it will be enjoyable. He will be working for a private aviation place. They take care of private planes that land at the airport. They also have a contract with the local military base. He won't be stuck inside behind a desk. His views are amazing and he gets to see some really cool planes! There is potential for advancement and if his pay increases even just a little, everything will be okay! We have a cushion to lean on, didn't want to, but that's what it was for...so maybe we won't vacation for a while...that's why we had Africa, to give us great memories to last a lifetime. Life here is like a vacation...the weather is just so damn beautiful! And PALM TREES everywhere!!
We have fixed the house up to a level we can live with. There is more to do but it is WANTS not NEEDS. What we have...the life we have...we aren't sacrificing...we have a beautiful home, wonderful friends and most importantly each other. Our relationship is stronger than ever....that seems like a good future blog....secrets to being together for over 17 years and loving each other MORE...
I have no regrets, I feel I needed to say this. My blogs are often about crap that irritates me. I may seem like an angry person. I don't dwell on any of that stuff. The blog helps, it is cathartic to write it down. Keeps it out of my head when I lay down and can't sleep because my mind keeps running.... oh yes that too.....the running out here....no more need for a treadmill EVER.. I made it through the heat of summer with no problems. It is flat...that is good and bad...it is soooo easy to run on flat ground but if I race somewhere NOT flat, that may be a problem...I have been doing some running during our hikes and plan to keep doing that...I still want to do the Tram hike and the Tram 6k run...but am definitely not in shape for that yet!
There are people I will miss back East but it's pretty easy to keep in contact with them on the internet. And a lot of them we only saw a couple times a year anyway....and once we get situated with permanent jobs we will be able to come back for visits and they can certainly come visit us too!
I still can't believe how long it has been...it was a year ago we were settling on the house. So much to worry about a year ago...and it all worked out. The birds have adjusted great and so have we!!
Friday, October 11, 2013
Killing Me Softly with their Tongs
Ok ....so here it is....remember I am a rambler, I cannot promise to keep this organized but I will try. This will be long, I will put a bold title near the final synopsis, the one true reason that I could NOT do this job.
I TOLD YOU SO
Many of you have said.."What did you expect? It's Walmart!"
I expected that a company as large and profitable as Walmart would know a little something about hiring, training and opening a new store....what I forgot was that they are CHEAP. We all read the stories about how they underpay and use tactics to avoid providing benefits...but I thought since they had been so publicly called out that it couldn't really be that bad.
Why did I even apply at Walmart? The intention was if I didn't find a job elsewhere it would be a fall back job...stocker, cashier...something mindless...not to offend anyone who does this...I just have had years of a job using my brain and wanted something simpler. I personally love manual labor, loved working on an assembly line at General Motors during my college summers...you may say that's because I only did it for a short time. Sure, whatever, it was nice to just show up and know that you were going to do the same thing day in and day out...I don't like surprises, I don't need variety. But I digress...
So months later when I get the call from Walmart...where they never mentioned Walmart..."I am calling from the Neighborhood Market regarding your application"...at that point with my husband out of work, I didn't question too much who was calling, I was just excited to get an interview. The interviews went well enough and I was scheduled for a third (yes THREE interviews to get a job at Walmart!!) 2 days later...the next day I get a call from Neighborhood Market...the guy who did my first interview, he wants to schedule an interview. I politely remind him that I have a third interview scheduled...that should have been my first red flag but hey it's a big operation to hire an entire new crew, paperwork can get mixed up. I am still excited because second interviewer brought up the possibility of decorating cakes and suddenly this whole thing looked promising. Oh what a fool to be an optimist!
Third interview...dude who is supposed to interview me is late so I get the bitch from bitchville...that should have been my second red flag...she was saying all the right things to discourage me from the job (it won't JUST be bakery but deli as well). But I must say all the right things and I am offered a "temporary fresh" position. No explanation what that is, no talk of pay....but again it isn't about the money...I may get to decorate cakes!!! SO COOL!! (Such a fool!) Off to get the drug test but I will have to come back to accept the formal offer because their computers aren't working and they have been promised for weeks that they will be online any day (third red flag?).
Orientation goes ok...well only 2 of there couple dozen computers are working and not fully..so it takes forever for the 12 of us to each do what we have to do. There is a VERY anti union video that claims the whole time not to be anti union...that doesn't sit right with me but hey I am gonna decorate cakes. We aren't allowed to keep our Orientation New Employee Handbook because they won't have enough for the subsequent orientations (uh FOURTH red flag....). Finally we are given are schedules and sent on our merry way.
THE TRAINING
The store I am sent to has a less than friendly personnel lady...well she ACTS friendly enough but doesn't want to be bothered with someone else's employees. She is a pain in the ass about giving me the paper time sheets I need, making me walk to the back of the store every morning to try to find her, then being put off while she pertains to some task that can't wait a second for her to grab a sheet out of the file right in front of her, this happens for 6 shifts before she finally decides I can be trusted with 3...THREE whole days worth of time sheets! Every day at the end of my shift I must track down a member of senior management to sign it...no easy task in these big ass stores. And at the end of the week I must drive them to the other Walmart and walk them to the back of the store to turn them in...after tracking down another pleasant personnel lady. Certainly none of this contributed to my overall annoyance with how half ass the training was going...(insert eye roll here!)
It takes over a week for me to get a computer username and password. I am still under the impression the store will be opening November 1st and we are supposed to go in 6 weeks early to build shelves and stock it (yes it is already past 6 weeks at this point) so I am nervous about getting my computer training completed...the packet states there is 30 hours. Meanwhile the first 2 days I decorated cakes and cupcakes with Arcelia...the cake decorator referred to by Graciela (who speaks very little English) as "The lady is bitchy". I felt like I was a bother and again was worried I wasn't learning things I would need to know for the new store. So I decided to go to the deli side for some training. Probably a mistake as this is where I really started to not like the job...but I guess it's better to find out know then to just keep decorating cupcakes to only be disappointed once I got the new store.
I thought since the Deli had a manager things might go better (the bakery had been operating without one for who knows how long...no one knew enough English to understand my question...it was a chaotic mess..the freezer a disorganized mess!). The Deli manager either spoke broken English or just didn't want to talk to me, because he would always tell someone else what to tell me. There were 3 helpful people in the deli....2 who actually tried to do things by the book. Unfortunately we didn't work coinciding shifts very often.
He decided to have me learn how to "cook" (those who know me can see where this is going). This is basically operating the fry baskets to keep the hot case full. Different items get cooked different times and even then they may not be done, you need to break open the chicken tenders to see if there is still raw meat, same with the wings and the shrimp. The case has to be full no later than 10 am or upper management will have a bird (in my 15 shifts I saw upper management come by once--supposedly they do a walk through every morning). There are probably 15 items in the case and it was seeming a bit overwhelming, mostly because only ONCE did everyone scheduled show up for their shift. So others were always scrambling to do 2 jobs or just throw me into something untrained...like the deli slicer!
The slicer scared me, one girl said she cut herself twice...of course she is also one who didn't follow may of the proper procedures. But at this point without the computer training I was still in the dark about proper procedures. So here I am thrown on this thing with a "Set it on number 1--this one is for meat only"...Thankfully most customers were patient and most customers don't come til after they are done work and I was long gone by then! (The one positive Tues thru Friday 8-4 with an hour lunch only 2 miles from home) So that's how I learned the slicer. I also got different answers as far as shelf dating a newly opened meat or cheese (6 days meat or is it 7? 21 days cheese or is it 22?). The same with their salads...NEVER buy cole slaw or broccoli salad without asking when it was made...The Palm Springs store told me they give it 3 days dating, the Palm Desert store said proper dating is 1 day but they give it 2!!!
So I finally get my username and gleefully get to spend 2 days in the computer lab, completely unassisted, doing my training packet. From what I gathered we were only supposed to do the learning that was assigned through links on our profile...screw that! I did the whole packet....every policy, procedure, task card, whatever...it's not like anyone had any idea where I was or when I was supposed to be anywhere. I probably could have shown up at 3:30 and hung out to get a manager to sign my time sheet at 4 but I am not like that...I am sure some of the people they hired caught on and took long lunches, etc. It was enough for me to hide out in the computer lab finally getting training albeit not hands on!
So now I go back to the deli armed with knowledge...observing all of the things you aren't supposed to do. Or rather observing none of the things you are supposed to do. You are supposed to wipe the thermometer with an alcohol swab before you temp food...seems pretty obvious...only ONE of the 6 or 7 people I worked with did that...at the Palm Springs store....I didn't even SEE a thermometer at the Palm Desert store!
You are supposed to change gloves in between tasks...if you were just touching frozen chicken and you need to slice for a deli customer, you SHOULD change gloves...only ONE person did this.
I watched the same tongs be used to flip those big whole chickens half way through their cooking cycle and again to use them to remove the chickens when they were done...or to use the tongs to get wings out the fryer basket...
I watched 4 hour rules be violated ALL of the time! There were rules about how the hot whole chickens had to be handled to determine if they could be used as cold chickens...but if there was already too many thrown away that day the rules were ignored.
I watched the hot case be shut off for maintenance for an HOUR and that food served to customers without the temperature being checked first to make sure it was still over 140 degrees.
My favorite is the little hand held PDA type device that sends reports straight to corporate if the tasks aren't completed in a timely manner....sooooo associates just sign on to the device click that it was completed (sure we cleaned the slicer every 4 hours...I worked fifteen 7 hour shifts...ONCE in the Palm Desert store I saw someone clean it the proper way)...put fake temps in, if a temp was the info requested....I love checks and balances....they just don't work when you punish your employees for not complying, it encourages dishonesty...of course it would all be unnecessary IF there were proper staffing and they were paid decent wages but then how would you get your 2 dollar 6 pack of socks??
Other stupid things: My second day of work, handing me a plan o gram and telling me to do a reset...the plan was for a different sized shelving unit. She didn't tell me where to get pegs or a ladder...that isn't training... Throwing me in a freezer to empty 3 pallets full of deli/bakery stuff. First week of work...I don't know which items are for deli, which are for bakery. Don't know where to find a cart to haul the crap. The bakery deli is already packed full of carts that someone never emptied onto the shelves because there is NO ORDER. No idea where to get a pallet jack or how to use one...Somehow I managed to empty 2 of the pallets and not get frostbite! Again...doesn't training involve, I don't know, a TRAINER???
I was basically used as a grunt employee to fill in for those who didn't show up, which would be fine, IF I had ever done any of those jobs before.
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
The final straw came...well let me back up ...when I got my next 3 week schedule I was told that the new store had been delayed...from November 1st til sometime in January...the light had the end of the tunnel just went OUT! I felt like all of the air went out of my sails. I had kept telling myself that if I could just hold on, the new store would be different, it was smaller, it would be organized by us and stay that way because the bakery manager was supposed to be awesome. One day soon I would be mostly decorating cakes and only occasionally doing the other crap. I could suck it up.... I had even thought how easy it would be to move up in the company (80% of their management started at a crappy job within--which explains a lot). Now I was face with MONTHS of being used to do whatever crappy job they decided no one else was doing. And no cake decorating because I couldn't bear to deal with the "bitchy lady".
SO, the final straw...I show up and there is ONE just ONE regular deli employee. There should be 3. The other lady is Graciela, the lady from the bakery that doesn't speak any English, very nice, I had thought, but ZERO English (outside of "lady is bitchy"). It is her FIRST day learning deli. The other lady also speaks ZERO English. At this point, I know how to use the fryers, but don't have all of the cooking times memorized. I have only sliced cheese twice and meat maybe half a dozen times. At 9:50 am she goes on her lunch break (another worry about what the new store would be like---some shifts here start at 4 and 5 am!). She leaves us ALONE for an hour. I am supposed to get a 15 minute break at 10. Graciela pretty much begs (without any English) for me not to leave her....how can I? She has been helpful when I was sent to stock the bakery aisles, even without English! So I stay...I get my 15 minute break at 11. I am supposed to take lunch at noon..that happens at about 12:50. When I get back, Graciela throws me under the bus by abandoning her slicer and leaving me to wait on a bunch of people. I realize she is new to this as well but Really? I could have left her alone to take my break and didn't, thanks for nothing. And that is how the associates treat each other. There are very few willing to help each other. Again, not a big concern, because MY store will be different...when did i ever become so optimistic? I am so irritated that on my 3 o'clock break (taken at 3:10) I call and speak to someone at the hiring center. It turns out to be the deli manager of the new store. He tells me to calm down ( I really wasn't hyper...) and says that we can't have people who don't speak English training me that I should start going to the Palm Desert store the next day. He isn't familiar with the Palm Springs store but KNOWS I will receive the proper training at Palm Desert. Once again, I am hopeful.
I arrive and finally meet someone else that has been hired for the deli/bakery at the new store. Just a kid, but very sweet. I learn from him that he was just hired. He was told it is a temporary position and that after 6 months we will become part time. They, of course, deliberately schedule us under 30 hours to avoid the ACA (should I blame Obama for this or recognize that Walmart is just doing what it has always done--looking out for number one). He was also told the new opening date is January 15th! TWO full weeks into January. Good God....
The deli manager here is very nice, as are the employees (for the most part). Day one goes ok...I even discover that there may not even be fryers at the new store...one less thing to worry about, as the deli still seems a little overwhelming. I am being SHOWN how to do things, such a novel way to train someone (dripping with the sarcasm!!). I learn how to make subs, not so bad. I learn some proper techniques for the slicer, including the proper way to clean it (not to be seen again--though I do only work one more shift before I quit!). I also witness even more rules being broken than at Palm Springs. Giving away way more samples than allowed, eating the food that we are making, at least these things don't compromise customer safety (well unless those samples aren't cooked properly)
I never really see anyone in the bakery..they seem to all stay behind the scenes? I am guessing my cake decorating days are over until I get to the new store.
I realize that even with a more organized store and people actually training me that I am still dissatisfied. I try to place my finger on it...could it be that NO ONE at any point during the day has taken the temperature of any food item? Could it be that the cleaning procedures aren't any better than the other store...same with glove changing...same with 4 hour rules...same with the little PDA thing...and this is THE GOOD STORE!
While I think I could master being half assed at something like stocking I realize, finally, why I must quit.
THE ONE REASON I CAN NOT GET PAST
I can not break rules that can potentially hurt people. I am mocked by my obsessiveness to following rules, laws, recipes, directions, whatever....my son and husband find it silly....whatever!
Some rules NEED to be followed, hell, they shouldn't even NEED to be rules...it is common sense. You should make sure food is thoroughly and properly cooked if you are going to serve it to the public. You should throw out food that isn't fit for consumption, no matter what the consequences from your boss. You should clean surfaces with CLEANER, not a nasty towel that has been rinsed in hot water. You should cover cakes that aren't currently being decorated, especially when there are flies present! You should change gloves after mopping the floor BEFORE starting to cook food! You should get rid of any utensils used on raw chicken immediately, so someone else doesn't use them on cooked food. You should not use scissors to open a bag of lettuce and then a bag of raw chicken wings and then a bag of gravy...you should not stick a thermometer in shrimp and then chicken and then chimichangas without cleaning in between! You should not dump fried chicken where the raw chicken has just been! Would it kill you to wipe up the bloody roast beef drippings before slicing turkey or ham?
I observed lots of GROSS stuff and I just can't be that person.. I don't care how short staffed we might be or how over budget we are with are "markdowns" (food we had to throw out). I will NOT do it...I will not do it for even two more weeks....I could not do it. And to complain would be useless, because all of the management came from below. They know what goes on.
We have to fail sometimes to learn...I learned that I can NOT work around food because I will never be satisfied with other people's definition of clean. I did love decorating cakes but not enough to compromise my standards. So off I go on a search again...and if I don't find a dream job, involving animals or art, I do know that I would enjoy stocking, it's not that different from assembly line work or shoveling shit...both things I find enjoyable!
Thanks for reading until the end.
I needed to write this because I am still disappointed with myself. I am not a quitter. And certainly not a quitter who wouldn't give proper notice....just another red flag...Why would they want to keep paying to train me? Is it because that is the only way I will be eligible for rehire? They could have said that and I would have explained that this is one bridge I WANT to burn. I found it funny when my sister was fired from her Walmart job (she called someone(I think in management) a lazy fat ass and they have a ZERO tolerance policy about harassment --eyes rolling here!!) they told her she would be eligible to apply again in 3 or 6 months I forget which....I don't think she lasted much longer than I did. I certainly appreciate her comment now...so many of their employees are apathetic, with good reason.
I know this was supposed to be the end, but I remembered something one of the ladies in Palm Desert told me, she said they will try to find any reason to fire you, once you have been there long enough, because they like new help because it's cheaper. Oh corporations how I love thee...Wouldn't you just love to be watching your back all the time at your part time job without benefits so you don't get fired??
I don't have a lot of requirements for what my post pharmacist job will be but stress free is a necessity and deli work at Walmart would never be stress free.
AFTERTHOUGHT!
There is a procedure for proper thawing of the cakes, cupcakes, brownies, cookies, muffins, pies, etc. I bet you thought since they had a bakery all of that stuff was fresh!! (HAH!) They are supposed to thaw for 30 minutes...I think in the fridge...but since no one spoke English and didn't do it anyway, I am relying on my memory of the tons of crap I read in the computer modules. You also aren't supposed to pull out more stuff than you can stock in 20 minutes. That is the max time the stuff should be out before it is returned to refrigeration/freezer. On the day I stocked, neither of these procedures were followed. We put frozen pies out in the morning. And that pallet full FULL!! of bakery items sat in the bakery un refrigerated, unfrozen for HOURS and hours... and then was put back in the freezer at the end of the day.
I also found it hysterical on my last day...yesterday, but feels like forever now that I am free!-- a customer was appalled when he watched the associate refill the mash potatoes bin (the old one....not a fresh one like you are supposed to do) with a BAG of mashed potatoes. He said "The mashed potatoes come in a bag??", I said "So does the Mac n Cheese" ....he was saddened, apparently he thought we were back there slicing up potatoes and boiling pasta....THAT'S what he was concerned about....not any of the other crap that goes on....like not using the seafood only fryer for seafood only. Or that the tray with raw whole chickens is kept side by side with the premade hoagies...sure it's covered...it was covered using the gloves that handled the raw chickens...surely no salmonella could be on the OUTSIDE of the plastic! Or when making hoagies the meats and cheeses come prepackaged to make 3 hoagies. If you only make two, what happens to the rest of the opened packet? Thrown back in the box, unwrapped....yummy! Dried out lunch meat and cheese!
Oh yes ignorance is indeed bliss! Til the diarrhea hits...
I TOLD YOU SO
Many of you have said.."What did you expect? It's Walmart!"
I expected that a company as large and profitable as Walmart would know a little something about hiring, training and opening a new store....what I forgot was that they are CHEAP. We all read the stories about how they underpay and use tactics to avoid providing benefits...but I thought since they had been so publicly called out that it couldn't really be that bad.
Why did I even apply at Walmart? The intention was if I didn't find a job elsewhere it would be a fall back job...stocker, cashier...something mindless...not to offend anyone who does this...I just have had years of a job using my brain and wanted something simpler. I personally love manual labor, loved working on an assembly line at General Motors during my college summers...you may say that's because I only did it for a short time. Sure, whatever, it was nice to just show up and know that you were going to do the same thing day in and day out...I don't like surprises, I don't need variety. But I digress...
So months later when I get the call from Walmart...where they never mentioned Walmart..."I am calling from the Neighborhood Market regarding your application"...at that point with my husband out of work, I didn't question too much who was calling, I was just excited to get an interview. The interviews went well enough and I was scheduled for a third (yes THREE interviews to get a job at Walmart!!) 2 days later...the next day I get a call from Neighborhood Market...the guy who did my first interview, he wants to schedule an interview. I politely remind him that I have a third interview scheduled...that should have been my first red flag but hey it's a big operation to hire an entire new crew, paperwork can get mixed up. I am still excited because second interviewer brought up the possibility of decorating cakes and suddenly this whole thing looked promising. Oh what a fool to be an optimist!
Third interview...dude who is supposed to interview me is late so I get the bitch from bitchville...that should have been my second red flag...she was saying all the right things to discourage me from the job (it won't JUST be bakery but deli as well). But I must say all the right things and I am offered a "temporary fresh" position. No explanation what that is, no talk of pay....but again it isn't about the money...I may get to decorate cakes!!! SO COOL!! (Such a fool!) Off to get the drug test but I will have to come back to accept the formal offer because their computers aren't working and they have been promised for weeks that they will be online any day (third red flag?).
Orientation goes ok...well only 2 of there couple dozen computers are working and not fully..so it takes forever for the 12 of us to each do what we have to do. There is a VERY anti union video that claims the whole time not to be anti union...that doesn't sit right with me but hey I am gonna decorate cakes. We aren't allowed to keep our Orientation New Employee Handbook because they won't have enough for the subsequent orientations (uh FOURTH red flag....). Finally we are given are schedules and sent on our merry way.
THE TRAINING
The store I am sent to has a less than friendly personnel lady...well she ACTS friendly enough but doesn't want to be bothered with someone else's employees. She is a pain in the ass about giving me the paper time sheets I need, making me walk to the back of the store every morning to try to find her, then being put off while she pertains to some task that can't wait a second for her to grab a sheet out of the file right in front of her, this happens for 6 shifts before she finally decides I can be trusted with 3...THREE whole days worth of time sheets! Every day at the end of my shift I must track down a member of senior management to sign it...no easy task in these big ass stores. And at the end of the week I must drive them to the other Walmart and walk them to the back of the store to turn them in...after tracking down another pleasant personnel lady. Certainly none of this contributed to my overall annoyance with how half ass the training was going...(insert eye roll here!)
It takes over a week for me to get a computer username and password. I am still under the impression the store will be opening November 1st and we are supposed to go in 6 weeks early to build shelves and stock it (yes it is already past 6 weeks at this point) so I am nervous about getting my computer training completed...the packet states there is 30 hours. Meanwhile the first 2 days I decorated cakes and cupcakes with Arcelia...the cake decorator referred to by Graciela (who speaks very little English) as "The lady is bitchy". I felt like I was a bother and again was worried I wasn't learning things I would need to know for the new store. So I decided to go to the deli side for some training. Probably a mistake as this is where I really started to not like the job...but I guess it's better to find out know then to just keep decorating cupcakes to only be disappointed once I got the new store.
I thought since the Deli had a manager things might go better (the bakery had been operating without one for who knows how long...no one knew enough English to understand my question...it was a chaotic mess..the freezer a disorganized mess!). The Deli manager either spoke broken English or just didn't want to talk to me, because he would always tell someone else what to tell me. There were 3 helpful people in the deli....2 who actually tried to do things by the book. Unfortunately we didn't work coinciding shifts very often.
He decided to have me learn how to "cook" (those who know me can see where this is going). This is basically operating the fry baskets to keep the hot case full. Different items get cooked different times and even then they may not be done, you need to break open the chicken tenders to see if there is still raw meat, same with the wings and the shrimp. The case has to be full no later than 10 am or upper management will have a bird (in my 15 shifts I saw upper management come by once--supposedly they do a walk through every morning). There are probably 15 items in the case and it was seeming a bit overwhelming, mostly because only ONCE did everyone scheduled show up for their shift. So others were always scrambling to do 2 jobs or just throw me into something untrained...like the deli slicer!
The slicer scared me, one girl said she cut herself twice...of course she is also one who didn't follow may of the proper procedures. But at this point without the computer training I was still in the dark about proper procedures. So here I am thrown on this thing with a "Set it on number 1--this one is for meat only"...Thankfully most customers were patient and most customers don't come til after they are done work and I was long gone by then! (The one positive Tues thru Friday 8-4 with an hour lunch only 2 miles from home) So that's how I learned the slicer. I also got different answers as far as shelf dating a newly opened meat or cheese (6 days meat or is it 7? 21 days cheese or is it 22?). The same with their salads...NEVER buy cole slaw or broccoli salad without asking when it was made...The Palm Springs store told me they give it 3 days dating, the Palm Desert store said proper dating is 1 day but they give it 2!!!
So I finally get my username and gleefully get to spend 2 days in the computer lab, completely unassisted, doing my training packet. From what I gathered we were only supposed to do the learning that was assigned through links on our profile...screw that! I did the whole packet....every policy, procedure, task card, whatever...it's not like anyone had any idea where I was or when I was supposed to be anywhere. I probably could have shown up at 3:30 and hung out to get a manager to sign my time sheet at 4 but I am not like that...I am sure some of the people they hired caught on and took long lunches, etc. It was enough for me to hide out in the computer lab finally getting training albeit not hands on!
So now I go back to the deli armed with knowledge...observing all of the things you aren't supposed to do. Or rather observing none of the things you are supposed to do. You are supposed to wipe the thermometer with an alcohol swab before you temp food...seems pretty obvious...only ONE of the 6 or 7 people I worked with did that...at the Palm Springs store....I didn't even SEE a thermometer at the Palm Desert store!
You are supposed to change gloves in between tasks...if you were just touching frozen chicken and you need to slice for a deli customer, you SHOULD change gloves...only ONE person did this.
I watched the same tongs be used to flip those big whole chickens half way through their cooking cycle and again to use them to remove the chickens when they were done...or to use the tongs to get wings out the fryer basket...
I watched 4 hour rules be violated ALL of the time! There were rules about how the hot whole chickens had to be handled to determine if they could be used as cold chickens...but if there was already too many thrown away that day the rules were ignored.
I watched the hot case be shut off for maintenance for an HOUR and that food served to customers without the temperature being checked first to make sure it was still over 140 degrees.
My favorite is the little hand held PDA type device that sends reports straight to corporate if the tasks aren't completed in a timely manner....sooooo associates just sign on to the device click that it was completed (sure we cleaned the slicer every 4 hours...I worked fifteen 7 hour shifts...ONCE in the Palm Desert store I saw someone clean it the proper way)...put fake temps in, if a temp was the info requested....I love checks and balances....they just don't work when you punish your employees for not complying, it encourages dishonesty...of course it would all be unnecessary IF there were proper staffing and they were paid decent wages but then how would you get your 2 dollar 6 pack of socks??
Other stupid things: My second day of work, handing me a plan o gram and telling me to do a reset...the plan was for a different sized shelving unit. She didn't tell me where to get pegs or a ladder...that isn't training... Throwing me in a freezer to empty 3 pallets full of deli/bakery stuff. First week of work...I don't know which items are for deli, which are for bakery. Don't know where to find a cart to haul the crap. The bakery deli is already packed full of carts that someone never emptied onto the shelves because there is NO ORDER. No idea where to get a pallet jack or how to use one...Somehow I managed to empty 2 of the pallets and not get frostbite! Again...doesn't training involve, I don't know, a TRAINER???
I was basically used as a grunt employee to fill in for those who didn't show up, which would be fine, IF I had ever done any of those jobs before.
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
The final straw came...well let me back up ...when I got my next 3 week schedule I was told that the new store had been delayed...from November 1st til sometime in January...the light had the end of the tunnel just went OUT! I felt like all of the air went out of my sails. I had kept telling myself that if I could just hold on, the new store would be different, it was smaller, it would be organized by us and stay that way because the bakery manager was supposed to be awesome. One day soon I would be mostly decorating cakes and only occasionally doing the other crap. I could suck it up.... I had even thought how easy it would be to move up in the company (80% of their management started at a crappy job within--which explains a lot). Now I was face with MONTHS of being used to do whatever crappy job they decided no one else was doing. And no cake decorating because I couldn't bear to deal with the "bitchy lady".
SO, the final straw...I show up and there is ONE just ONE regular deli employee. There should be 3. The other lady is Graciela, the lady from the bakery that doesn't speak any English, very nice, I had thought, but ZERO English (outside of "lady is bitchy"). It is her FIRST day learning deli. The other lady also speaks ZERO English. At this point, I know how to use the fryers, but don't have all of the cooking times memorized. I have only sliced cheese twice and meat maybe half a dozen times. At 9:50 am she goes on her lunch break (another worry about what the new store would be like---some shifts here start at 4 and 5 am!). She leaves us ALONE for an hour. I am supposed to get a 15 minute break at 10. Graciela pretty much begs (without any English) for me not to leave her....how can I? She has been helpful when I was sent to stock the bakery aisles, even without English! So I stay...I get my 15 minute break at 11. I am supposed to take lunch at noon..that happens at about 12:50. When I get back, Graciela throws me under the bus by abandoning her slicer and leaving me to wait on a bunch of people. I realize she is new to this as well but Really? I could have left her alone to take my break and didn't, thanks for nothing. And that is how the associates treat each other. There are very few willing to help each other. Again, not a big concern, because MY store will be different...when did i ever become so optimistic? I am so irritated that on my 3 o'clock break (taken at 3:10) I call and speak to someone at the hiring center. It turns out to be the deli manager of the new store. He tells me to calm down ( I really wasn't hyper...) and says that we can't have people who don't speak English training me that I should start going to the Palm Desert store the next day. He isn't familiar with the Palm Springs store but KNOWS I will receive the proper training at Palm Desert. Once again, I am hopeful.
I arrive and finally meet someone else that has been hired for the deli/bakery at the new store. Just a kid, but very sweet. I learn from him that he was just hired. He was told it is a temporary position and that after 6 months we will become part time. They, of course, deliberately schedule us under 30 hours to avoid the ACA (should I blame Obama for this or recognize that Walmart is just doing what it has always done--looking out for number one). He was also told the new opening date is January 15th! TWO full weeks into January. Good God....
The deli manager here is very nice, as are the employees (for the most part). Day one goes ok...I even discover that there may not even be fryers at the new store...one less thing to worry about, as the deli still seems a little overwhelming. I am being SHOWN how to do things, such a novel way to train someone (dripping with the sarcasm!!). I learn how to make subs, not so bad. I learn some proper techniques for the slicer, including the proper way to clean it (not to be seen again--though I do only work one more shift before I quit!). I also witness even more rules being broken than at Palm Springs. Giving away way more samples than allowed, eating the food that we are making, at least these things don't compromise customer safety (well unless those samples aren't cooked properly)
I never really see anyone in the bakery..they seem to all stay behind the scenes? I am guessing my cake decorating days are over until I get to the new store.
I realize that even with a more organized store and people actually training me that I am still dissatisfied. I try to place my finger on it...could it be that NO ONE at any point during the day has taken the temperature of any food item? Could it be that the cleaning procedures aren't any better than the other store...same with glove changing...same with 4 hour rules...same with the little PDA thing...and this is THE GOOD STORE!
While I think I could master being half assed at something like stocking I realize, finally, why I must quit.
THE ONE REASON I CAN NOT GET PAST
I can not break rules that can potentially hurt people. I am mocked by my obsessiveness to following rules, laws, recipes, directions, whatever....my son and husband find it silly....whatever!
Some rules NEED to be followed, hell, they shouldn't even NEED to be rules...it is common sense. You should make sure food is thoroughly and properly cooked if you are going to serve it to the public. You should throw out food that isn't fit for consumption, no matter what the consequences from your boss. You should clean surfaces with CLEANER, not a nasty towel that has been rinsed in hot water. You should cover cakes that aren't currently being decorated, especially when there are flies present! You should change gloves after mopping the floor BEFORE starting to cook food! You should get rid of any utensils used on raw chicken immediately, so someone else doesn't use them on cooked food. You should not use scissors to open a bag of lettuce and then a bag of raw chicken wings and then a bag of gravy...you should not stick a thermometer in shrimp and then chicken and then chimichangas without cleaning in between! You should not dump fried chicken where the raw chicken has just been! Would it kill you to wipe up the bloody roast beef drippings before slicing turkey or ham?
I observed lots of GROSS stuff and I just can't be that person.. I don't care how short staffed we might be or how over budget we are with are "markdowns" (food we had to throw out). I will NOT do it...I will not do it for even two more weeks....I could not do it. And to complain would be useless, because all of the management came from below. They know what goes on.
We have to fail sometimes to learn...I learned that I can NOT work around food because I will never be satisfied with other people's definition of clean. I did love decorating cakes but not enough to compromise my standards. So off I go on a search again...and if I don't find a dream job, involving animals or art, I do know that I would enjoy stocking, it's not that different from assembly line work or shoveling shit...both things I find enjoyable!
Thanks for reading until the end.
I needed to write this because I am still disappointed with myself. I am not a quitter. And certainly not a quitter who wouldn't give proper notice....just another red flag...Why would they want to keep paying to train me? Is it because that is the only way I will be eligible for rehire? They could have said that and I would have explained that this is one bridge I WANT to burn. I found it funny when my sister was fired from her Walmart job (she called someone(I think in management) a lazy fat ass and they have a ZERO tolerance policy about harassment --eyes rolling here!!) they told her she would be eligible to apply again in 3 or 6 months I forget which....I don't think she lasted much longer than I did. I certainly appreciate her comment now...so many of their employees are apathetic, with good reason.
I know this was supposed to be the end, but I remembered something one of the ladies in Palm Desert told me, she said they will try to find any reason to fire you, once you have been there long enough, because they like new help because it's cheaper. Oh corporations how I love thee...Wouldn't you just love to be watching your back all the time at your part time job without benefits so you don't get fired??
I don't have a lot of requirements for what my post pharmacist job will be but stress free is a necessity and deli work at Walmart would never be stress free.
AFTERTHOUGHT!
There is a procedure for proper thawing of the cakes, cupcakes, brownies, cookies, muffins, pies, etc. I bet you thought since they had a bakery all of that stuff was fresh!! (HAH!) They are supposed to thaw for 30 minutes...I think in the fridge...but since no one spoke English and didn't do it anyway, I am relying on my memory of the tons of crap I read in the computer modules. You also aren't supposed to pull out more stuff than you can stock in 20 minutes. That is the max time the stuff should be out before it is returned to refrigeration/freezer. On the day I stocked, neither of these procedures were followed. We put frozen pies out in the morning. And that pallet full FULL!! of bakery items sat in the bakery un refrigerated, unfrozen for HOURS and hours... and then was put back in the freezer at the end of the day.
I also found it hysterical on my last day...yesterday, but feels like forever now that I am free!-- a customer was appalled when he watched the associate refill the mash potatoes bin (the old one....not a fresh one like you are supposed to do) with a BAG of mashed potatoes. He said "The mashed potatoes come in a bag??", I said "So does the Mac n Cheese" ....he was saddened, apparently he thought we were back there slicing up potatoes and boiling pasta....THAT'S what he was concerned about....not any of the other crap that goes on....like not using the seafood only fryer for seafood only. Or that the tray with raw whole chickens is kept side by side with the premade hoagies...sure it's covered...it was covered using the gloves that handled the raw chickens...surely no salmonella could be on the OUTSIDE of the plastic! Or when making hoagies the meats and cheeses come prepackaged to make 3 hoagies. If you only make two, what happens to the rest of the opened packet? Thrown back in the box, unwrapped....yummy! Dried out lunch meat and cheese!
Oh yes ignorance is indeed bliss! Til the diarrhea hits...
Monday, October 7, 2013
Thoughts on our current state of politics
Recent events in our government have really disappointed me. And the response of the citizens isn't much better.
Americans are an arrogant group, we love to go on and on about what a great country we have....the greatest country. But what definition of great are we using? Great implies better than good. Are we good? Wouldn't a good country be able to feed all of it's poor? Wouldn't a good country provide affordable health care to ALL of it's people? Wouldn't a good country work together to try to find a solution to the number of mass shootings that have been taking place in recent years? Wouldn't a good country have a government that works together PERIOD? These are important issues that are just off the top of my head....Oh and wouldn't a good country educate it's youth better? We poll in the middle on most every subject...the middle....that's AVERAGE at best, not good, and certainly not great!
Is it Un American to write that? What about freedom of speech? Is it Un American to feel that way? Maybe you think it is... I think it's Un American to rest on our laurels, from a past that showed we had the potential to be the greatest nation. But somewhere along the way we stopped striving for greatness, because other than arrogance what are Americans known for? Laziness...
Let's stop being arrogant, stop being lazy and start rebuilding our country as something we can all be proud of. We can still have different opinions. You can still think the Affordable Care Act is wasteful spending, that it won't work BUT if the system we created to make laws is fair, with it's checks and balances, then you MUST accept the law and abide by it. You must agree that to shut down our government after fighting for years to repeal this law, taking it to the Supreme Court, spending God knows how much money, is not the way a great country handles things. Then to add insult to injury, these "representatives" claim the shut down isn't hurting anyone, it's not a big deal, it isn't affecting the economy...only to claim a couple days later that it is hurting people...people who went on vacation and now can't see the Statue of Liberty or Yosemite Park...that's what they have said...the Republicans who are trying to "protect" us from the big bad Affordable Care Act. They didn't mention the mothers and children who won't be receiving their aid for food, they didn't mention the military families whose commissaries have been shut down, they have forgotten the employees who have been furloughed...why? Because THEY (are wonderful, caring representatives) will still receive their checks!
As for our representatives... do they really represent us? They are wealthy, they are out of touch with how most of America lives, they do not care what we want, they abide by the wishes of those who line their pockets. They do a very good job of hiding behind talking points, never addressing facts. They appeal to one aspect of your loyalty...maybe you are Republican because you want your gun ownership to be unaffected, so you ignore that while protecting your gun rights, they protect their vaults of money, by paying lower effective tax rates. Maybe you consider yourself religious and they appeal to your morals, so you ignore the fact that they have no compassion for the poor, as Jesus would, because they fight to protect the sanctity of marriage or to toughen abortion laws.
We have a two party system, it is impossible to agree with everything your particular party believes in, we all are unique, we have different ideas of what is most important. We latch onto a party because of a few key beliefs that are similar. I have seen people switch parties when their eyes have been opened that you do NOT need to blindly agree with EVERYTHING they say, you can understand that their interests are self serving...or serving of those who are paying to keep them in office. It is foolhardy to think the actions of any of these "representatives" have the best interest of YOU in mind. It is okay to admit that your party is not perfect, just as it is okay to admit America is not perfect. The only way to fix what is broke, is to recognize that it is broke.
I think a good starting point would be to eliminate pensions for our representatives...ALL OF THEM!! There has been something circulating on facebook about this...let's do it! My idea is to make it like the current minimum wage system for people who work on tips or commissions. IF the representative doesn't earn X dollars through speaking events or book royalties or even just interest on the bags of money they already have...THEN they can collect their pension. I would venture to say that most everyone of our representatives makes more than what their pension would be through other means. How much money could this save in our budget? Enough to PAY for everyone to have healthcare...not assist in paying but actually PAY for it?? Maybe...I really don't want to know what the government pays out every year in pensions to former Congress people and Senators and Presidents...I truly do not want to know.
I want to end on one area where I believe America IS the greatest...our military. These people willingly sign up to serve our country, knowing ahead of time that our government does not show them the appreciation they deserve. Their pay sucks, their mental health needs are ignored when they return from tours of duty, they just, in general, are not shown the love they deserve....their pensions do not look anything like what we pay our Congressmen sitting in their cushy jobs and these men and women have put their lives in harms way and sacrificed time from family. These are GREAT Americans and a "great" country would treat them as such. We can be the greatest country again...but we need to get rid of the asshats (love that word) that are currently representing us, we need a better system to get money OUT of politics and start having OUR voices heard and OUR people taken care of...the American dream has become all but unattainable unless you were born with the right last name...the rich are getting richer and we are losing the middle class. Let's take back our country and make it great again!
Americans are an arrogant group, we love to go on and on about what a great country we have....the greatest country. But what definition of great are we using? Great implies better than good. Are we good? Wouldn't a good country be able to feed all of it's poor? Wouldn't a good country provide affordable health care to ALL of it's people? Wouldn't a good country work together to try to find a solution to the number of mass shootings that have been taking place in recent years? Wouldn't a good country have a government that works together PERIOD? These are important issues that are just off the top of my head....Oh and wouldn't a good country educate it's youth better? We poll in the middle on most every subject...the middle....that's AVERAGE at best, not good, and certainly not great!
Is it Un American to write that? What about freedom of speech? Is it Un American to feel that way? Maybe you think it is... I think it's Un American to rest on our laurels, from a past that showed we had the potential to be the greatest nation. But somewhere along the way we stopped striving for greatness, because other than arrogance what are Americans known for? Laziness...
Let's stop being arrogant, stop being lazy and start rebuilding our country as something we can all be proud of. We can still have different opinions. You can still think the Affordable Care Act is wasteful spending, that it won't work BUT if the system we created to make laws is fair, with it's checks and balances, then you MUST accept the law and abide by it. You must agree that to shut down our government after fighting for years to repeal this law, taking it to the Supreme Court, spending God knows how much money, is not the way a great country handles things. Then to add insult to injury, these "representatives" claim the shut down isn't hurting anyone, it's not a big deal, it isn't affecting the economy...only to claim a couple days later that it is hurting people...people who went on vacation and now can't see the Statue of Liberty or Yosemite Park...that's what they have said...the Republicans who are trying to "protect" us from the big bad Affordable Care Act. They didn't mention the mothers and children who won't be receiving their aid for food, they didn't mention the military families whose commissaries have been shut down, they have forgotten the employees who have been furloughed...why? Because THEY (are wonderful, caring representatives) will still receive their checks!
As for our representatives... do they really represent us? They are wealthy, they are out of touch with how most of America lives, they do not care what we want, they abide by the wishes of those who line their pockets. They do a very good job of hiding behind talking points, never addressing facts. They appeal to one aspect of your loyalty...maybe you are Republican because you want your gun ownership to be unaffected, so you ignore that while protecting your gun rights, they protect their vaults of money, by paying lower effective tax rates. Maybe you consider yourself religious and they appeal to your morals, so you ignore the fact that they have no compassion for the poor, as Jesus would, because they fight to protect the sanctity of marriage or to toughen abortion laws.
We have a two party system, it is impossible to agree with everything your particular party believes in, we all are unique, we have different ideas of what is most important. We latch onto a party because of a few key beliefs that are similar. I have seen people switch parties when their eyes have been opened that you do NOT need to blindly agree with EVERYTHING they say, you can understand that their interests are self serving...or serving of those who are paying to keep them in office. It is foolhardy to think the actions of any of these "representatives" have the best interest of YOU in mind. It is okay to admit that your party is not perfect, just as it is okay to admit America is not perfect. The only way to fix what is broke, is to recognize that it is broke.
I think a good starting point would be to eliminate pensions for our representatives...ALL OF THEM!! There has been something circulating on facebook about this...let's do it! My idea is to make it like the current minimum wage system for people who work on tips or commissions. IF the representative doesn't earn X dollars through speaking events or book royalties or even just interest on the bags of money they already have...THEN they can collect their pension. I would venture to say that most everyone of our representatives makes more than what their pension would be through other means. How much money could this save in our budget? Enough to PAY for everyone to have healthcare...not assist in paying but actually PAY for it?? Maybe...I really don't want to know what the government pays out every year in pensions to former Congress people and Senators and Presidents...I truly do not want to know.
I want to end on one area where I believe America IS the greatest...our military. These people willingly sign up to serve our country, knowing ahead of time that our government does not show them the appreciation they deserve. Their pay sucks, their mental health needs are ignored when they return from tours of duty, they just, in general, are not shown the love they deserve....their pensions do not look anything like what we pay our Congressmen sitting in their cushy jobs and these men and women have put their lives in harms way and sacrificed time from family. These are GREAT Americans and a "great" country would treat them as such. We can be the greatest country again...but we need to get rid of the asshats (love that word) that are currently representing us, we need a better system to get money OUT of politics and start having OUR voices heard and OUR people taken care of...the American dream has become all but unattainable unless you were born with the right last name...the rich are getting richer and we are losing the middle class. Let's take back our country and make it great again!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)