Why I hated being a pharmacist

My first 2 interviews at Walmart went well... I don't think the first guy realized I was a pharmacist, he just knew I had worked in pharmacy for 22 years. The second lady understood that I wanted a job that wasn't as stressful as being a pharmacist, she completely understood, like almost no one else has (Thanks honey...I know you get it!!). The third lady thought I was a complete moron. I could tell by her facial expressions and the way she talked to me. She first thought I may be confusing pharmacy technician with pharmaCIST (her accenting the second syllable) ---apparently no one looks at your employment history before they interview you?!?!? The look was "I am the manager, I KNOW what pharmacists make...why the fuck would you give that up ----for a minimum wage job?)

Do YOU know why?

If you do, you are in the minority...you either work in a pharmacy or are married to a pharmacist. Some of you may not know what a pharmacist makes--if you google it you will see it is between $43 to $70 an hour. Now that you know that...are you saying "Why the fuck would you give that up?"

I can't make my parents, my son, or my friends understand, so why do I think you will understand?
It is so simple...so simple that I don't understand why no one can understand.

In the beginning I hated being a pharmacist because people suck....they don't tell you in pharmacy school that you aren't going to be respected like doctors. People WILL yell at you. They don't care that you are not responsible for their insurance copays, they don't understand why it takes so long to put pills in a bottle or slap a label on a tube of cream ("It's already made up--just give it to me, I don't need a label"), they have no idea what a pharmacist does...and they don't really care.

I learned to deal with people. They stopped bothering me a long time ago....I mean I would still have the occasional over the top nasty ass stupid customer who you just could NOT talk to, but it was rare. I think giving up the inability to apologize for things I didn't do helped. I realized it didn't kill me to say I am sorry, even when I was secretly praying they would get hit by a bus crossing the street! I used to have this desire to make the customer understand why.. why they were wrong and I was right...then I just stopped caring, I realized that most were just too stupid to understand.

So Why?

Pharmacy has changed a lot over the last 22 years. You would think for the better...you would be wrong. There are more and more prescriptions being written and filled. While there is no longer a pharmacist shortage,so pharmacists are readily available (and at the same time no longer hold the cards so working conditions have gone downhill) corporations have gotten greedy, especially since 2008. Ancillary staff hours have been cut to levels that make it impossible for errors to not occur. Meanwhile more demands are being placed on pharmacists, immunizations being at the top of the list, but also Medication Therapy Management (MTM) this is something companies are doing to help save costs...the insurance companies are starting to pay pharmacies to convince patients and doctors to use cheaper alternatives. Of course pharmacies seeing new opportunities to make money are jumping on this...but without adding staff and it is a very time consuming process.

Some states are requiring pharmacy techs to be certified, but trust me, this isn't as great as it sounds. Many technicians were grandfathered in in Maryland, some with no business being technicians. And the certification test is geared more towards hospital info anyway, it isn't really insuring that retail techs are qualified. It really doesn't matter because the Big Box stores keep cutting help anyway.

I personally have watched error rates, including my own, go up substantially over the past few years.
This causes me to lose sleep. I have seen some really bad errors, causing hospitalization. I have not made one of these errors, that I know of. And that is the scary part...just because I don't know about it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Someone's parent, spouse, child...could have gotten sick or worse and it could have been my fault. I have a somewhat obsessive personality and when thoughts like that would get in my head, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And when I would make a mistake, I would go through the what if's....not being glad I caught the mistake before it happened but dwelling on what could have happened. People would say ..."Well just take your time....triple check.."  It doesn't work like that. When you look at a prescription, whether hand written or typewritten, (I have made mistakes on both)...once you see what you see, your double check sees it again. Pharmacy is a very fast paced environment, you can only go so slow...and honestly I have worked in slower environments, it doesn't matter. There have even been studies that show more errors occur during lulls in business, because we aren't focusing as much, for whatever reason, distraction is more common when there is nothing to distract you.

Ultimately it doesn't matter....everyone makes mistakes, We are human. It happens. And as I have gotten older, I have become more aware of what making a mistake means. I have come to appreciate the enormous responsibility that comes with being a pharmacist...and I am not up for it anymore. I don't want to learn about new drug interactions. I don't want to learn about new drugs, I don't want to learn about the old drugs....I have ZERO passion for the job. Remember I chose this career on a whim...because my high school boyfriend was going to be a doctor and it just seemed "cool" to fill the scripts he wrote...I have always wanted to do something with my artistic, creative side. ALWAYS.

Nothing matters more to me now than getting away from the stress of a job I don't even like. I have penny pinched and saved so I could make this day happen. I put my time in and I got way more out of it than the cost of my education. It is my past. And I do not regret leaving it there...in the past....on the East coast.

For the record, for me to continue to be a pharmacist in California, I would need to retake the Boards. Yes, I could study and yes I probably could pass, I know I am smart and if I put my mind to it I could do it. But why? I didn't want to learn about the drugs to stay proficient while doing my job...I certainly don't want to learn about them so I can pass a test so that I can KEEP doing that job. So, no I WON'T do it. I DO NOT want to be responsible for people's lives anymore PERIOD!

The Future

I am not sure what my future holds, but I know it will never involve a job where people's lives will be in my hands. It is a responsibility I have had and one I did not like.

I am hoping that Walmart puts me in the Bakery, that I learn to decorate cakes. And if that doesn't work out, I will volunteer at The Living Desert until a job opens up and I can work around animals. These are two of my passions and whatever my future holds it will involve doing something I am passionate about, whether I earn money doing it, remains to be seen.