You can find info on the internet about anything....so much of it is opinions stated as facts. The following is my personal account of what Peri Menopause has been like for me! If you want true medical info you are in the wrong place, this is just my experience! Forget that I am a pharmacist, I am not giving you a professional opinion.
About 8 years ago I went searching for info on Peri Menopause ---that lovely time in a woman's life BEFORE you get to enjoy no longer having a period....but still get the nasty hormonal shit that menopause can bring. I haven't looked lately but back then I wasn't finding the answers I needed.
Background
Let me back up a bit.... I was on the pill for what seemed like forever but was actually just under 20 years. Looking back, knowing what I know now about pharmaceutical companies burying info that could be helpful to patients experiencing weird shit, I think the pill may have been responsible for my lifelong medical issue of "Do I or don't I have lupus?". Countless money, time and worrying probably wasted because the pill screwed up some lab work. At the young, naive age of 18, I received a letter from the city of Philadelphia, a scary letter. It pretty much said if I didn't show up at some clinic they were going to send someone to get me....because my blood test came back positive for syphillis! Now, I am away from home for the first time and in a near panic! I contact the school doctor, where I had had an exam to get the pill cheap. No one ever mentioned they'd be doing a syphillis test. All I knew was that I had only been with one guy and he was definitely NOT the cheating type so WTF!
Turns out it was a "false positive", which should have meant relief. Instead I spent the next God knows how many years waiting to get lupus. The doctors warned me that I was at a higher risk for blood clots. One month they would tell me take baby aspirin daily, then they would change their minds. They told me to be sure to let my ob know about my blood work because it could affect my pregnancy. And they terrified me throughout my pregnancy...never telling me anything ahead of time. "Oh you made it through the first trimester...most people with your blood condition have miscarriages"...gee thanks for sharing that after the fact! Then they waited til the last month to let me know I had to come in for fetal heart monitoring weekly until I delivered..."be sure and let us know if the baby stops moving for any period of time...people with your condition are prone to still births!"
The joy of pregnancy kind of ruined with these little tidbits they would toss at me. Finally a healthy baby, no problems at all!
Spent the next 15 years with different opinions on what preventive measures I should be taking...even prophylactic use of Plaquenil....a drug you really don't want to mess around with... I finally went against medical advice, rebel that I am, and said FUCK IT, I am 40 and I still don't have lupus, I am just going to live my damn life as if that stupid blood test had never been run. So many friends and family have had blood clots, none of them ever being at "high risk", obviously I wasn't really that high risk after all! I haven't seen a rheumatologist in years and never even mention my abnormal blood tests anymore.
The only advice I did heed was to go off the pill, because it is a well known fact that even for perfectly healthy women, once you hit 35 your risk for clots while on the pill increases....
That brings me to when the weird shit started happening....was it being off the hormones or was it starting peri menopause. I had some really heavy periods, but then I figured I just got spoiled from the "easy" ones I had while on the pill. I had even considered ablation to burn the uterus and hopefully stop the heavy bleeding but my gyn wasn't coming across as too knowledgeable especially when testing me to see if I could be starting PM, he didn't follow any of the guidelines I had read about on multiple internet sites (you should have your blood tested at a specific time of your cycle---he didn't think that was necessary?!?!). That was the last I saw of him, I was getting really tired of half ass doctors and replacing them as needed!
My Symptoms
The heavy periods were annoying but sporadic... about every 3 or 4 cycles there would be a REALLY bad month. Over the past 6 years this has pretty much stopped, maybe once a year I will have a bad month. (I still can't believe all this crap has been going on for so many years!)
The weird stuff...in the very beginning of all of this...I would get horny...I mean reallllllly horny. I could NOT stop thinking about sex. Even to the point of trying to bully my hubby into coming home on a lunch break. This, like the heavy periods, was cyclical. I could go months with just a normal libido and then out of the blue ... I would just crave sex...and surf the internet looking for toys...nagging the hubby to buy porn...and nowhere on the internet could I find anyone who mentioned this in connection with Perimenopause....it was always DECREASED desire....I was starting to think I was a freak (and I am sure many of you may feel the same). I am only mentioning this because NO ONE ever has...certainly I can NOT be the only one?!?? Luckily this has stopped... and I say luckily, because I still have a perfectly healthy normal libido....this was really interfering with my ability to concentrate...needless to say the hubby wasn't complaining but I think he prefers the dialed back libido to the sex crazed wife.
Those symptoms have stopped. The ones that remain are equally as annoying in their own way. I took to writing down my symptoms to see if they were related to my cycle, since my gyn was so sure I was NOT going through anything related to hormonal changes. There were definite patterns and still are. Some months may be less severe and I haven't taken the time to see if certain symptoms ebb and flow together or if it's just random.
Some months my hair and nails grow like crazy...have to shave the moustache weekly sometimes and then not for months...no biggie. Sometimes the hot flashes cause nausea, sometimes they are followed by being extremely cold...can't find a pattern here either. (alcohol seems to make them worse though) Nearly every month I have been having days of paranoia followed by days of freaking about any money related issue followed by being really angry for no reason ( I imagine I am a joy to live with!). This certainly didn't help with the normal stresses of being a pharmacist, but even being unemployed this paranoia and doom feelings continue, so it may not have been completely pharmacy to blame! Because I know abut these moods, I think it makes it easier for me, as well as my family to deal with. My son would just get this look and realize he was not going to win any argument and he would slowly back away finding an excuse to be somewhere...the hubby does the same thing, they know if they mention I am just acting this way because of hormones it will usually set me off...he just kind of drops whatever subject or yes's me to death. I am to the point now that I know it's coming and try to warn anyone and everyone who is smart enough to listen. And there's the sadness...for no reason. I am not sure which is worse. The paranoia can be really bad...it ranges from simply being positive I am forgetting something really important to a feeling of impending doom, which is a very heavy feeling to have, when it lifts I feel so free. The sadness can be pretty heavy too. I mentioned in my suicide post...I have had fleeting moments of ending it all...and then I am stumped by exactly what it is I think I will be ending...I LOVE my life. I am very happy with where life has brought me. And I remind myself it will pass..and it always does.
Some other odd tidbits that may be related to hormonal changes....my gums bleed at a certain time of the month, every month...dentist says my gums are healthy and agrees could be hormones. I also get an achy tooth, he says the hormones could even cause gum swelling that would cause the odd pain...it's not so much a pain as a pressure, so that sounded like a reasonable explanation.
I was having some hip pain, that I tried to associate with new exercises but finally determined it may just be the same sort of thing, an inflammation caused by hormones...
For a while I was having some sleep issues...sometimes I could NOT fall asleep before 2 am no matter what time I got up in the morning. I called these my night owl spurts, they would last a few days and then I'd be back to normal.
I think I have hit on pretty much all the joys of Perimenopause...I am patiently waiting for the periods to stop...and hoping shortly after all this bullshit will stop too!! They say the average time is 10 years...so hopefully I am closer to the end than to the beginning!
What weird stuff could you possibly attribute to your hormones??And does it make it easier knowing you aren't alone?
No comments:
Post a Comment