My motivation has been at an all time low, and honestly it's only slightly better but my memory of the visit is fading fast so I want to get it on paper (so to speak). My visit was a gift (my friend won it from a charity auction). It was a one on one half hour session with a local psychic. I had no idea what to expect and went in hoping for some clarity on my "issue"....that would be what the hell to do about my marriage. It had been over 2 years and I was still on a rollercoaster. I was fairly sure that I wanted to make it work, it seemed to be working...except for the times I would still completely lose my shit and feel the same rage with the intensity of the first few days. I'd like to blame it on hormones, because when I don't feel that way, I am all in, 100% committed to knowing I made the right decision and that I don't want to be anywhere else. And here another year has past and while the pandemic has made some things clearer (life is way too fragile and short to waste so much time in the past) I still falter, so my conclusion is...it is not something I really have control over and hopefully menopause will finally bring an end to the ups and downs. But I digress...as usual...
So I show up to the visit and he does some strange clanging of chimes over my head, I suppose it sets a mood and who knows, it may be necessary for the "spirits". If you sense skepticism, it's only that I have a very scientific mind and am also aware that many people will try to scam you. I absolutely believe that there are people who can speak to the dead, I am just not gullible enough to believe that everyone who claims to is legit. That stuff always just makes it feel hokey to me, but I was still keeping an open mind.
Now since it's been over a year, the specifics of what happened when may be a little out of line but I will only write what I recall with certainty.
He held my hands and just kind of started saying things he was feeling. I remember one of the first things he said was how much I value honesty. (yeah, who doesn't right? but since this was obviously such a huge issue for me, I found it compelling) He did like an outline of my body with his fingers on the table and then pointed to a spot and asked if I had had surgery there. I have only ever had my tonsils out and he was pointing to my abdomen area. So I said no and he persisted with that it was something on the right side, that he could feel, I don't remember his exact words, but it reminded me that I was actually at that moment experiencing a pain on my right side that I usually blame on ovulating. So, again, pretty weird and specific and accurate.
He then went on to describe me. My personality, my likes and dislikes, he would act as if someone was showing him things about me and he was spot on with everything. I remember thinking it was as if he read this blog and then telling myself, maybe he had. (My facebook profile is not public and nowhere in this blog do I ever reference my full name - and it's such a tiny obscure blog I don't think you'd find it even if you were looking for it, without knowing exactly what I call it). He mentioned, in fact, that I liked to write, he said "like in a diary" and then I admitted that I blog. He talked about my artsy side. He talked about how I have great empathy and that it causes me pain. He talked about how I have a pretty strong sense of people, but often don't trust my instincts and that I should listen more to them, because I am very intuitive. He spoke about how my honesty can get me in trouble some times, because I speak my mind when many others may just stay silent. Like I said, I don't remember all that he said, but he was spot on and very specific. I didn't really go there expecting to be told about myself, I really thought of it as more of a future telling experience. But this was turning out to be very interesting. To hear someone talk about me as if they had known me for years, was weird. My mind just kept trying to explain it away, but I never even gave my last name when I made the appointment, he knew the winner's name, my friend, but not mine. I have a mutual friend that knew I would be using the certificate but I have no reason to believe that she gave him my name-and again even with my name, he couldn't find this blog with just that info.
He then asked what brought me there and I didn't want to mention the affair, so I just said that I had been on an emotional rollercoaster and wanted some idea if he could give a timeframe for when that would end. We then started discussing mental illness, and bipolar ( I honestly don't remember if that was before or after I mentioned the roller coaster). I remember I tried to push it off as being my sister, but he kept insisting that it was me and that it wasn't going to resolve on it's own and that he could feel that it was chemical. I said I wouldn't even consider rx drugs and he said he didn't think that was needed but that he did recommend I talk with someone. He said he wasn't sure a therapist would help me, that I would be more likely to help them, he said I was too perceptive or smart, something like that. But that maybe a psychiatrist could assist in finding natural ways to combat it. I ended up going online and trying to find a suitable doctor on my insurance but all of the reviews were horrible (all of them saying the docs just wanted to throw pills at them). It did push me to get the food allergy test done, because I followed my gut (no pun intended!) and that ended up leading to the whole egg thing and so that is "chemical".
At one point in that conversation something he said made me tear up and I ended up stating that something had happened to trigger the roller coaster and it was then that he mentioned the affair (and my skeptical mind said well it isn't that great a leap from crying lady, personal issue and whatever it was we were discussing). But, again, overall, I remember my mind just thinking WOW, he really "knows" me.
We then moved onto the contact a dead person part of the visit. I had brought a pic of my mom's side of the family (because there were a few dead people in it--figured one was bound to come through) and also a really old pic of Dave's dad. Since I had never done this before I didn't have a clue what else to know, the person who made the appointment had only send to bring photos. Well he also wanted full names, date of birth and death...and yeah, I am bad I don't know that stuff. I knew my grandmother's name and roughly her age and when she died. I couldn't even remember Dave's dad's first name and only roughly when he died and about how old he was. I figured that meant I wouldn't be getting much in the way of a reading.
The photo of my grandmom led to some accurate stuff, but was so generic I wasn't impressed. Everyone loved her, she liked to cook, that kind of stuff. He then talked about Dave's dad and I don't really remember much of what he said because the one thing that ended up being the most convincing now overrides anything else he said. But first, he mentioned about my mom's picture that he was getting a New York feeling. The pic was taken in Maryland but Dave's dad did die in New York, so I was thinking maybe he was just confusing the two.
So when he tells me this next part, he's confused, I am confused but I take it home with me and talk to Dave about it. What he said was that his dad was showing him a zipper and to tell Dave that they have that in common...and something about it being genetic or hereditary, I don't remember what exact word he used, I just remember thinking how odd anything to do with a zipper would be passed down. When talking to Dave about it we both went right to getting your dick caught in a zipper, but Dave never really had a memorable experience like that and we just dismissed it as odd and irrelevant, especially since that isn't even close to being hereditary.
Until...a few hours later Dave mentioned, and I might add here, you don't get much more skeptical than Dave, so for him to even be still thinking about it, let alone trying to make it believable is unusual. So he says "I wonder if it has do with the zipper breaking on the back pillow I bought". That morning, before we went to the psychic, we went to Walmart and bought a car pillow to support his back while driving. We hadn't even taken it out of the package yet and the zipper on it broke. I thought well ok...but did your dad have a bad back? His dad died when he was really young, so he doesn't know anything about him and didn't remember his mom ever saying anything about him having a bad back. So the next time he talked to his mom, he asked her...without mentioning any of the back story. And, yes...his dad had back problems. So, draw your own conclusions. I found it odd that Dave thought of the zipper incident. I am the one who always tries to convince him of things and even though it had just happened I didn't connect the two. I think his dad nudged his brain to remind him of it so we could put it all together. I mean why else would a psychic talk about a zipper?? And to make it something they have in common? It's just not the same as knowing an older lady would be the one who likes to cook for her family...it's oddly specific and just plain strange.
And so with that one bit of info, I gave credibility to every other thing he said that day.
I almost forgot...he also said I would like a long life, a very long life...87-93. I am not dumb enough to think that means I can walk around maskless in a pandemic, or that I shouldn't still take care of myself, but I would like to believe that since he was so right about everything else that I count on many more decades trying to figure out this thing called life.
I would love to some day visit with him again, especially now that Dave's mom has also passed. I'll go more prepared with info and with a lot more trust than the first time!
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