I can remember the first time I learned about the Holocaust. Or at least the first time it meant something real to me. I may have learned about it in a history class in middle or high school, but I have always hated history class. It was one of my worst subjects and I just couldn't retain anything once the test was over.
My Freshman year at Temple University I was required to take an English 101 class. I never minded English and it was nice to break up the Science and Math classes required for my PrePharm major. I never thought it would be the one class that would leave such a lasting impression.
It was here that I was introduced to Elie Wiesel's Night. A tiny book, but oh so powerful. That combined with the professor bringing in an actual survivor, tattoo and all....it is one memory that has stuck with me. To see that tattoo in person...to equate it with the story behind it. Even at the young age of 17, it was undeniably powerful. I could mock professors for stupid useless assignments but this got the respect it deserved. I don't know if my classmates reacted the same way, I can't imagine that they couldn't have.
I hadn't read much about the Holocaust after that. I didn't even see Schindler's List. I felt like I had heard enough of the horror. I didn't WANT to know more, it was so unfathomable.
A couple of years ago we went to Boston. There's a Holocaust memorial there. It is beautiful and unsettling at the same time. Just walking through it, I cried. It was "just" numbers etched on glass. Lots and lots of glass...so many numbers. Each of those numbers a victim. It is surreal. It immediately reminded me of the survivor I met. Still I didn't search for more info. I contemplated finally seeing Schindler's List but why?
So, here I am today. Most nights I have a few hours to myself because Dave has to go to bed early to get up at the crack of dawn. So I have been reading. Junk....James Patterson mostly (sorry James...). I read a couple of non fiction "intelligent" books (from NY Times current best seller list). I wanted to read less junk and more "important" stuff. I don't know how I ended up with some Holocaust books but I did.
Finally the Review ALREADY!
Ok, so it isn't so much a review as it is thoughts it evoked from me.
Survival in Auschwitz is another short book. Mr. Levi spent a year in a camp and could probably write volumes about it. But that isn't necessary. The horrors are so incomprehensible they are easily portrayed in few words. He writes not so much about what happened physically but mentally. As a reader you can't help but put yourself in his shoes and wonder if you could have survived. I think that is the hardest thing to understand...how they went on day after day believing that it(their suffering) would end (in a manner other than "the Chimney"). Where does the mind get the strength to hold onto hope? He speaks of those who didn't have that strength and they were the majority. They didn't last long. To survive you needed to learn to work the system, bartering, stealing and sometimes just dumb luck.
I read the book, knowing he survived--he wrote the book, after all! --- but still thinking, he is going to give up, he shouldn't survive (not because he didn't deserve to but because HOW could anyone survive??)...anxiously awaiting for him to be saved. There were 10 days from when the camp was abandoned until the Russians arrived...many died waiting, many died after being saved. The Germans took the "healthy" ones with them, leaving those too sick too travel behind. Some had diptheria, scarlet fever, dysentery. And somehow some DID survive.
He writes of the different levels of prisoner...some in charge of others and every bit as evil as the captors themselves. And, again, I wonder, especially being of German descent, what would I have done? I wonder how so many people could be convinced to exterminate others based on nationality or religion, hell, how can you be convinced to exterminate anyone, any living thing? How do people work at animal shelters that aren't "no kill"? I don't know if there are any books written from the other perspective...I imagine there are, although I can't imagine someone having the balls to do it any way other than anonymously...I would really like to understand HOW this could happen...and I would like to smack anyone that tries to compare anything to this....nothing has ever come close to this level of inhumanity and it is such an injustice to the victims and the survivors to ever even speak as if it could compare. How about we don't yell Fire in a crowded theater and we don't call people we disagree with Hitler...after that you can have your free speech.
The next book I have is Condemned Without Judgement: The Three Lives of a Holocaust Survivor. I didn't realize it but the author actually lived here, in the desert, until this past July when he passed away. After that I plan on reading about the war. How the world found out what was going on and when they decided to do something about it and how they finally stopped the Germans....I suppose I may have already learned all of that but I did mention that I hated History, right?
My husband asked "Why are you reading this depressing stuff?" Seems like a fair question....I don't think there is a simple answer. While James Patterson is entertaining, there are only so many ways to write crime/ murder mysteries...they are getting predictable. I could find another author but Vince Flynn died (far too young) and Dean Koontz has gotten weird and Stephen King is so wordy....so why not enlighten myself with non fiction. Why not become more well rounded---and anyone who knows me, knows I don't know much about history or geography or sports or....well let's tackle one thing at a time!
I am at a happy place in my life. I don't think it hurts to read about how people overcame adversity. I think there is lots to learn from them. I would love to share my secrets for finally having a mind at peace, for being content with all that I have and not needing or even wanting more. But I am honestly not sure how I got to this point. Maybe I can figure it out by reading their stories and then I can feel confident that my contentment will last...or at the very least it will reaffirm that I don't have anything to complain about, I have food, shelter, love and freedom...and so much more.
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