I started a post on why we all need health insurance and it started to sound preachy...so I figured I would try again and just make it more rambly...that is what this blog is about after all!
It seems quite obvious to me that if we are required to insure an inanimate, fairly inexpensive thing like a car...we wouldn't even think twice about having insurance for our health...when costs can go into the hundreds of thousands of dollars if you are diagnosed with something serious. Yet....some ridiculous number in the multi millions of people don't have it. And those that do are upset that the big bad government is trying to force them to get it.
I get the whole "the government shouldn't tell me what to do" argument but most people arguing this point HAVE insurance. The idea is if more people have insurance that it will cost us less in the long run...it isn't that complicated to understand but I really don't feel like trying to explain it and if you haven't already heard the argument then you obviously don't care and are still stuck on the "don't tell me what to do" argument.
Most people currently without insurance will qualify for subsidies and if you don't....well then you DO have enough money to afford insurance, you just chose to spend it on things you think are more important...like a cell phone or a million cable channels. Oops..getting preachy again....but it's true....you do not NEED a hundred dollar cell phone bill (or more...add data and texting and so on)...NOT having a cell phone, or even having one but without all the bells and whistles, will NOT BANKRUPT you....NOT having health insurance could...it's a big gamble...and when you lose...we ALL pay.
I just don't understand why it's ok to be forced to have car insurance but you get indignant when you are told you have to insure your health....why is the body of your car more important than YOUR body?
I give up ....talking about health care just gets me preachy.... I have witnessed too many people without insurance end up with mounds of bills...that they walk away from...and pass that on for the hospital to absorb and where does that go??? Higher costs for the rest of us. And then there are the people begging for money on the internet because "Woe is me...I didn't have insurance and now I have an expensive life threatening disease"....For Pete's sake, at least have a high deductible catastrophic plan...then you can beg me to help you pay for the deductible, I can live with that....
It will be interesting to see how this all works out in a few years...I predict a better America....having everyone insured can only be a good thing...the government watching insurance companies more closely can only be a good thing...the disparity in pricing among hospitals and other healthcare providers is ridiculous...call it socialism, I don't care....when, we, the people, are being robbed by unfair practices SOMEONE should be watching out for us.
If you think there is nothing wrong with the way it works now, you either have great insurance or are healthy and accident free. Trying to shop around for prices on knee surgery for my husband was frustrating and pretty useless. The pricing structures are more secretive than making a friggin' bomb. It is nearly impossible to get anyone to tell you what a procedure will cost with any accuracy. Their MRI estimate was off over $2000. And you don't find that out til AFTER the fact and there's no returning a scan, so you are stuck with an unexpected bill because there are no regulations requiring straight forward answers to how much you will be expected to pay.
Will Obamacare fix all of the problems? I highly doubt it. But just because something isn't the perfect solution doesn't mean it isn't better than doing nothing at all....a prime example would be the bullshit with guns in this country.....Let's just stick our heads in the sand and let people keep mass murdering people....that solution seems to working really well....oops there I go again.....off on a tangent and preaching.....
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
For the ladies....peri menopause...oh the joy!
You can find info on the internet about anything....so much of it is opinions stated as facts. The following is my personal account of what Peri Menopause has been like for me! If you want true medical info you are in the wrong place, this is just my experience! Forget that I am a pharmacist, I am not giving you a professional opinion.
About 8 years ago I went searching for info on Peri Menopause ---that lovely time in a woman's life BEFORE you get to enjoy no longer having a period....but still get the nasty hormonal shit that menopause can bring. I haven't looked lately but back then I wasn't finding the answers I needed.
Background
Let me back up a bit.... I was on the pill for what seemed like forever but was actually just under 20 years. Looking back, knowing what I know now about pharmaceutical companies burying info that could be helpful to patients experiencing weird shit, I think the pill may have been responsible for my lifelong medical issue of "Do I or don't I have lupus?". Countless money, time and worrying probably wasted because the pill screwed up some lab work. At the young, naive age of 18, I received a letter from the city of Philadelphia, a scary letter. It pretty much said if I didn't show up at some clinic they were going to send someone to get me....because my blood test came back positive for syphillis! Now, I am away from home for the first time and in a near panic! I contact the school doctor, where I had had an exam to get the pill cheap. No one ever mentioned they'd be doing a syphillis test. All I knew was that I had only been with one guy and he was definitely NOT the cheating type so WTF!
Turns out it was a "false positive", which should have meant relief. Instead I spent the next God knows how many years waiting to get lupus. The doctors warned me that I was at a higher risk for blood clots. One month they would tell me take baby aspirin daily, then they would change their minds. They told me to be sure to let my ob know about my blood work because it could affect my pregnancy. And they terrified me throughout my pregnancy...never telling me anything ahead of time. "Oh you made it through the first trimester...most people with your blood condition have miscarriages"...gee thanks for sharing that after the fact! Then they waited til the last month to let me know I had to come in for fetal heart monitoring weekly until I delivered..."be sure and let us know if the baby stops moving for any period of time...people with your condition are prone to still births!"
The joy of pregnancy kind of ruined with these little tidbits they would toss at me. Finally a healthy baby, no problems at all!
Spent the next 15 years with different opinions on what preventive measures I should be taking...even prophylactic use of Plaquenil....a drug you really don't want to mess around with... I finally went against medical advice, rebel that I am, and said FUCK IT, I am 40 and I still don't have lupus, I am just going to live my damn life as if that stupid blood test had never been run. So many friends and family have had blood clots, none of them ever being at "high risk", obviously I wasn't really that high risk after all! I haven't seen a rheumatologist in years and never even mention my abnormal blood tests anymore.
The only advice I did heed was to go off the pill, because it is a well known fact that even for perfectly healthy women, once you hit 35 your risk for clots while on the pill increases....
That brings me to when the weird shit started happening....was it being off the hormones or was it starting peri menopause. I had some really heavy periods, but then I figured I just got spoiled from the "easy" ones I had while on the pill. I had even considered ablation to burn the uterus and hopefully stop the heavy bleeding but my gyn wasn't coming across as too knowledgeable especially when testing me to see if I could be starting PM, he didn't follow any of the guidelines I had read about on multiple internet sites (you should have your blood tested at a specific time of your cycle---he didn't think that was necessary?!?!). That was the last I saw of him, I was getting really tired of half ass doctors and replacing them as needed!
My Symptoms
The heavy periods were annoying but sporadic... about every 3 or 4 cycles there would be a REALLY bad month. Over the past 6 years this has pretty much stopped, maybe once a year I will have a bad month. (I still can't believe all this crap has been going on for so many years!)
The weird stuff...in the very beginning of all of this...I would get horny...I mean reallllllly horny. I could NOT stop thinking about sex. Even to the point of trying to bully my hubby into coming home on a lunch break. This, like the heavy periods, was cyclical. I could go months with just a normal libido and then out of the blue ... I would just crave sex...and surf the internet looking for toys...nagging the hubby to buy porn...and nowhere on the internet could I find anyone who mentioned this in connection with Perimenopause....it was always DECREASED desire....I was starting to think I was a freak (and I am sure many of you may feel the same). I am only mentioning this because NO ONE ever has...certainly I can NOT be the only one?!?? Luckily this has stopped... and I say luckily, because I still have a perfectly healthy normal libido....this was really interfering with my ability to concentrate...needless to say the hubby wasn't complaining but I think he prefers the dialed back libido to the sex crazed wife.
Those symptoms have stopped. The ones that remain are equally as annoying in their own way. I took to writing down my symptoms to see if they were related to my cycle, since my gyn was so sure I was NOT going through anything related to hormonal changes. There were definite patterns and still are. Some months may be less severe and I haven't taken the time to see if certain symptoms ebb and flow together or if it's just random.
Some months my hair and nails grow like crazy...have to shave the moustache weekly sometimes and then not for months...no biggie. Sometimes the hot flashes cause nausea, sometimes they are followed by being extremely cold...can't find a pattern here either. (alcohol seems to make them worse though) Nearly every month I have been having days of paranoia followed by days of freaking about any money related issue followed by being really angry for no reason ( I imagine I am a joy to live with!). This certainly didn't help with the normal stresses of being a pharmacist, but even being unemployed this paranoia and doom feelings continue, so it may not have been completely pharmacy to blame! Because I know abut these moods, I think it makes it easier for me, as well as my family to deal with. My son would just get this look and realize he was not going to win any argument and he would slowly back away finding an excuse to be somewhere...the hubby does the same thing, they know if they mention I am just acting this way because of hormones it will usually set me off...he just kind of drops whatever subject or yes's me to death. I am to the point now that I know it's coming and try to warn anyone and everyone who is smart enough to listen. And there's the sadness...for no reason. I am not sure which is worse. The paranoia can be really bad...it ranges from simply being positive I am forgetting something really important to a feeling of impending doom, which is a very heavy feeling to have, when it lifts I feel so free. The sadness can be pretty heavy too. I mentioned in my suicide post...I have had fleeting moments of ending it all...and then I am stumped by exactly what it is I think I will be ending...I LOVE my life. I am very happy with where life has brought me. And I remind myself it will pass..and it always does.
Some other odd tidbits that may be related to hormonal changes....my gums bleed at a certain time of the month, every month...dentist says my gums are healthy and agrees could be hormones. I also get an achy tooth, he says the hormones could even cause gum swelling that would cause the odd pain...it's not so much a pain as a pressure, so that sounded like a reasonable explanation.
I was having some hip pain, that I tried to associate with new exercises but finally determined it may just be the same sort of thing, an inflammation caused by hormones...
For a while I was having some sleep issues...sometimes I could NOT fall asleep before 2 am no matter what time I got up in the morning. I called these my night owl spurts, they would last a few days and then I'd be back to normal.
I think I have hit on pretty much all the joys of Perimenopause...I am patiently waiting for the periods to stop...and hoping shortly after all this bullshit will stop too!! They say the average time is 10 years...so hopefully I am closer to the end than to the beginning!
What weird stuff could you possibly attribute to your hormones??And does it make it easier knowing you aren't alone?
About 8 years ago I went searching for info on Peri Menopause ---that lovely time in a woman's life BEFORE you get to enjoy no longer having a period....but still get the nasty hormonal shit that menopause can bring. I haven't looked lately but back then I wasn't finding the answers I needed.
Background
Let me back up a bit.... I was on the pill for what seemed like forever but was actually just under 20 years. Looking back, knowing what I know now about pharmaceutical companies burying info that could be helpful to patients experiencing weird shit, I think the pill may have been responsible for my lifelong medical issue of "Do I or don't I have lupus?". Countless money, time and worrying probably wasted because the pill screwed up some lab work. At the young, naive age of 18, I received a letter from the city of Philadelphia, a scary letter. It pretty much said if I didn't show up at some clinic they were going to send someone to get me....because my blood test came back positive for syphillis! Now, I am away from home for the first time and in a near panic! I contact the school doctor, where I had had an exam to get the pill cheap. No one ever mentioned they'd be doing a syphillis test. All I knew was that I had only been with one guy and he was definitely NOT the cheating type so WTF!
Turns out it was a "false positive", which should have meant relief. Instead I spent the next God knows how many years waiting to get lupus. The doctors warned me that I was at a higher risk for blood clots. One month they would tell me take baby aspirin daily, then they would change their minds. They told me to be sure to let my ob know about my blood work because it could affect my pregnancy. And they terrified me throughout my pregnancy...never telling me anything ahead of time. "Oh you made it through the first trimester...most people with your blood condition have miscarriages"...gee thanks for sharing that after the fact! Then they waited til the last month to let me know I had to come in for fetal heart monitoring weekly until I delivered..."be sure and let us know if the baby stops moving for any period of time...people with your condition are prone to still births!"
The joy of pregnancy kind of ruined with these little tidbits they would toss at me. Finally a healthy baby, no problems at all!
Spent the next 15 years with different opinions on what preventive measures I should be taking...even prophylactic use of Plaquenil....a drug you really don't want to mess around with... I finally went against medical advice, rebel that I am, and said FUCK IT, I am 40 and I still don't have lupus, I am just going to live my damn life as if that stupid blood test had never been run. So many friends and family have had blood clots, none of them ever being at "high risk", obviously I wasn't really that high risk after all! I haven't seen a rheumatologist in years and never even mention my abnormal blood tests anymore.
The only advice I did heed was to go off the pill, because it is a well known fact that even for perfectly healthy women, once you hit 35 your risk for clots while on the pill increases....
That brings me to when the weird shit started happening....was it being off the hormones or was it starting peri menopause. I had some really heavy periods, but then I figured I just got spoiled from the "easy" ones I had while on the pill. I had even considered ablation to burn the uterus and hopefully stop the heavy bleeding but my gyn wasn't coming across as too knowledgeable especially when testing me to see if I could be starting PM, he didn't follow any of the guidelines I had read about on multiple internet sites (you should have your blood tested at a specific time of your cycle---he didn't think that was necessary?!?!). That was the last I saw of him, I was getting really tired of half ass doctors and replacing them as needed!
My Symptoms
The heavy periods were annoying but sporadic... about every 3 or 4 cycles there would be a REALLY bad month. Over the past 6 years this has pretty much stopped, maybe once a year I will have a bad month. (I still can't believe all this crap has been going on for so many years!)
The weird stuff...in the very beginning of all of this...I would get horny...I mean reallllllly horny. I could NOT stop thinking about sex. Even to the point of trying to bully my hubby into coming home on a lunch break. This, like the heavy periods, was cyclical. I could go months with just a normal libido and then out of the blue ... I would just crave sex...and surf the internet looking for toys...nagging the hubby to buy porn...and nowhere on the internet could I find anyone who mentioned this in connection with Perimenopause....it was always DECREASED desire....I was starting to think I was a freak (and I am sure many of you may feel the same). I am only mentioning this because NO ONE ever has...certainly I can NOT be the only one?!?? Luckily this has stopped... and I say luckily, because I still have a perfectly healthy normal libido....this was really interfering with my ability to concentrate...needless to say the hubby wasn't complaining but I think he prefers the dialed back libido to the sex crazed wife.
Those symptoms have stopped. The ones that remain are equally as annoying in their own way. I took to writing down my symptoms to see if they were related to my cycle, since my gyn was so sure I was NOT going through anything related to hormonal changes. There were definite patterns and still are. Some months may be less severe and I haven't taken the time to see if certain symptoms ebb and flow together or if it's just random.
Some months my hair and nails grow like crazy...have to shave the moustache weekly sometimes and then not for months...no biggie. Sometimes the hot flashes cause nausea, sometimes they are followed by being extremely cold...can't find a pattern here either. (alcohol seems to make them worse though) Nearly every month I have been having days of paranoia followed by days of freaking about any money related issue followed by being really angry for no reason ( I imagine I am a joy to live with!). This certainly didn't help with the normal stresses of being a pharmacist, but even being unemployed this paranoia and doom feelings continue, so it may not have been completely pharmacy to blame! Because I know abut these moods, I think it makes it easier for me, as well as my family to deal with. My son would just get this look and realize he was not going to win any argument and he would slowly back away finding an excuse to be somewhere...the hubby does the same thing, they know if they mention I am just acting this way because of hormones it will usually set me off...he just kind of drops whatever subject or yes's me to death. I am to the point now that I know it's coming and try to warn anyone and everyone who is smart enough to listen. And there's the sadness...for no reason. I am not sure which is worse. The paranoia can be really bad...it ranges from simply being positive I am forgetting something really important to a feeling of impending doom, which is a very heavy feeling to have, when it lifts I feel so free. The sadness can be pretty heavy too. I mentioned in my suicide post...I have had fleeting moments of ending it all...and then I am stumped by exactly what it is I think I will be ending...I LOVE my life. I am very happy with where life has brought me. And I remind myself it will pass..and it always does.
Some other odd tidbits that may be related to hormonal changes....my gums bleed at a certain time of the month, every month...dentist says my gums are healthy and agrees could be hormones. I also get an achy tooth, he says the hormones could even cause gum swelling that would cause the odd pain...it's not so much a pain as a pressure, so that sounded like a reasonable explanation.
I was having some hip pain, that I tried to associate with new exercises but finally determined it may just be the same sort of thing, an inflammation caused by hormones...
For a while I was having some sleep issues...sometimes I could NOT fall asleep before 2 am no matter what time I got up in the morning. I called these my night owl spurts, they would last a few days and then I'd be back to normal.
I think I have hit on pretty much all the joys of Perimenopause...I am patiently waiting for the periods to stop...and hoping shortly after all this bullshit will stop too!! They say the average time is 10 years...so hopefully I am closer to the end than to the beginning!
What weird stuff could you possibly attribute to your hormones??And does it make it easier knowing you aren't alone?
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Why I hated being a pharmacist
My first 2 interviews at Walmart went well... I don't think the first guy realized I was a pharmacist, he just knew I had worked in pharmacy for 22 years. The second lady understood that I wanted a job that wasn't as stressful as being a pharmacist, she completely understood, like almost no one else has (Thanks honey...I know you get it!!). The third lady thought I was a complete moron. I could tell by her facial expressions and the way she talked to me. She first thought I may be confusing pharmacy technician with pharmaCIST (her accenting the second syllable) ---apparently no one looks at your employment history before they interview you?!?!? The look was "I am the manager, I KNOW what pharmacists make...why the fuck would you give that up ----for a minimum wage job?)
Do YOU know why?
If you do, you are in the minority...you either work in a pharmacy or are married to a pharmacist. Some of you may not know what a pharmacist makes--if you google it you will see it is between $43 to $70 an hour. Now that you know that...are you saying "Why the fuck would you give that up?"
I can't make my parents, my son, or my friends understand, so why do I think you will understand?
It is so simple...so simple that I don't understand why no one can understand.
In the beginning I hated being a pharmacist because people suck....they don't tell you in pharmacy school that you aren't going to be respected like doctors. People WILL yell at you. They don't care that you are not responsible for their insurance copays, they don't understand why it takes so long to put pills in a bottle or slap a label on a tube of cream ("It's already made up--just give it to me, I don't need a label"), they have no idea what a pharmacist does...and they don't really care.
I learned to deal with people. They stopped bothering me a long time ago....I mean I would still have the occasional over the top nasty ass stupid customer who you just could NOT talk to, but it was rare. I think giving up the inability to apologize for things I didn't do helped. I realized it didn't kill me to say I am sorry, even when I was secretly praying they would get hit by a bus crossing the street! I used to have this desire to make the customer understand why.. why they were wrong and I was right...then I just stopped caring, I realized that most were just too stupid to understand.
So Why?
Pharmacy has changed a lot over the last 22 years. You would think for the better...you would be wrong. There are more and more prescriptions being written and filled. While there is no longer a pharmacist shortage,so pharmacists are readily available (and at the same time no longer hold the cards so working conditions have gone downhill) corporations have gotten greedy, especially since 2008. Ancillary staff hours have been cut to levels that make it impossible for errors to not occur. Meanwhile more demands are being placed on pharmacists, immunizations being at the top of the list, but also Medication Therapy Management (MTM) this is something companies are doing to help save costs...the insurance companies are starting to pay pharmacies to convince patients and doctors to use cheaper alternatives. Of course pharmacies seeing new opportunities to make money are jumping on this...but without adding staff and it is a very time consuming process.
Some states are requiring pharmacy techs to be certified, but trust me, this isn't as great as it sounds. Many technicians were grandfathered in in Maryland, some with no business being technicians. And the certification test is geared more towards hospital info anyway, it isn't really insuring that retail techs are qualified. It really doesn't matter because the Big Box stores keep cutting help anyway.
I personally have watched error rates, including my own, go up substantially over the past few years.
This causes me to lose sleep. I have seen some really bad errors, causing hospitalization. I have not made one of these errors, that I know of. And that is the scary part...just because I don't know about it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Someone's parent, spouse, child...could have gotten sick or worse and it could have been my fault. I have a somewhat obsessive personality and when thoughts like that would get in my head, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And when I would make a mistake, I would go through the what if's....not being glad I caught the mistake before it happened but dwelling on what could have happened. People would say ..."Well just take your time....triple check.." It doesn't work like that. When you look at a prescription, whether hand written or typewritten, (I have made mistakes on both)...once you see what you see, your double check sees it again. Pharmacy is a very fast paced environment, you can only go so slow...and honestly I have worked in slower environments, it doesn't matter. There have even been studies that show more errors occur during lulls in business, because we aren't focusing as much, for whatever reason, distraction is more common when there is nothing to distract you.
Ultimately it doesn't matter....everyone makes mistakes, We are human. It happens. And as I have gotten older, I have become more aware of what making a mistake means. I have come to appreciate the enormous responsibility that comes with being a pharmacist...and I am not up for it anymore. I don't want to learn about new drug interactions. I don't want to learn about new drugs, I don't want to learn about the old drugs....I have ZERO passion for the job. Remember I chose this career on a whim...because my high school boyfriend was going to be a doctor and it just seemed "cool" to fill the scripts he wrote...I have always wanted to do something with my artistic, creative side. ALWAYS.
Nothing matters more to me now than getting away from the stress of a job I don't even like. I have penny pinched and saved so I could make this day happen. I put my time in and I got way more out of it than the cost of my education. It is my past. And I do not regret leaving it there...in the past....on the East coast.
For the record, for me to continue to be a pharmacist in California, I would need to retake the Boards. Yes, I could study and yes I probably could pass, I know I am smart and if I put my mind to it I could do it. But why? I didn't want to learn about the drugs to stay proficient while doing my job...I certainly don't want to learn about them so I can pass a test so that I can KEEP doing that job. So, no I WON'T do it. I DO NOT want to be responsible for people's lives anymore PERIOD!
The Future
I am not sure what my future holds, but I know it will never involve a job where people's lives will be in my hands. It is a responsibility I have had and one I did not like.
I am hoping that Walmart puts me in the Bakery, that I learn to decorate cakes. And if that doesn't work out, I will volunteer at The Living Desert until a job opens up and I can work around animals. These are two of my passions and whatever my future holds it will involve doing something I am passionate about, whether I earn money doing it, remains to be seen.
Do YOU know why?
If you do, you are in the minority...you either work in a pharmacy or are married to a pharmacist. Some of you may not know what a pharmacist makes--if you google it you will see it is between $43 to $70 an hour. Now that you know that...are you saying "Why the fuck would you give that up?"
I can't make my parents, my son, or my friends understand, so why do I think you will understand?
It is so simple...so simple that I don't understand why no one can understand.
In the beginning I hated being a pharmacist because people suck....they don't tell you in pharmacy school that you aren't going to be respected like doctors. People WILL yell at you. They don't care that you are not responsible for their insurance copays, they don't understand why it takes so long to put pills in a bottle or slap a label on a tube of cream ("It's already made up--just give it to me, I don't need a label"), they have no idea what a pharmacist does...and they don't really care.
I learned to deal with people. They stopped bothering me a long time ago....I mean I would still have the occasional over the top nasty ass stupid customer who you just could NOT talk to, but it was rare. I think giving up the inability to apologize for things I didn't do helped. I realized it didn't kill me to say I am sorry, even when I was secretly praying they would get hit by a bus crossing the street! I used to have this desire to make the customer understand why.. why they were wrong and I was right...then I just stopped caring, I realized that most were just too stupid to understand.
So Why?
Pharmacy has changed a lot over the last 22 years. You would think for the better...you would be wrong. There are more and more prescriptions being written and filled. While there is no longer a pharmacist shortage,so pharmacists are readily available (and at the same time no longer hold the cards so working conditions have gone downhill) corporations have gotten greedy, especially since 2008. Ancillary staff hours have been cut to levels that make it impossible for errors to not occur. Meanwhile more demands are being placed on pharmacists, immunizations being at the top of the list, but also Medication Therapy Management (MTM) this is something companies are doing to help save costs...the insurance companies are starting to pay pharmacies to convince patients and doctors to use cheaper alternatives. Of course pharmacies seeing new opportunities to make money are jumping on this...but without adding staff and it is a very time consuming process.
Some states are requiring pharmacy techs to be certified, but trust me, this isn't as great as it sounds. Many technicians were grandfathered in in Maryland, some with no business being technicians. And the certification test is geared more towards hospital info anyway, it isn't really insuring that retail techs are qualified. It really doesn't matter because the Big Box stores keep cutting help anyway.
I personally have watched error rates, including my own, go up substantially over the past few years.
This causes me to lose sleep. I have seen some really bad errors, causing hospitalization. I have not made one of these errors, that I know of. And that is the scary part...just because I don't know about it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Someone's parent, spouse, child...could have gotten sick or worse and it could have been my fault. I have a somewhat obsessive personality and when thoughts like that would get in my head, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And when I would make a mistake, I would go through the what if's....not being glad I caught the mistake before it happened but dwelling on what could have happened. People would say ..."Well just take your time....triple check.." It doesn't work like that. When you look at a prescription, whether hand written or typewritten, (I have made mistakes on both)...once you see what you see, your double check sees it again. Pharmacy is a very fast paced environment, you can only go so slow...and honestly I have worked in slower environments, it doesn't matter. There have even been studies that show more errors occur during lulls in business, because we aren't focusing as much, for whatever reason, distraction is more common when there is nothing to distract you.
Ultimately it doesn't matter....everyone makes mistakes, We are human. It happens. And as I have gotten older, I have become more aware of what making a mistake means. I have come to appreciate the enormous responsibility that comes with being a pharmacist...and I am not up for it anymore. I don't want to learn about new drug interactions. I don't want to learn about new drugs, I don't want to learn about the old drugs....I have ZERO passion for the job. Remember I chose this career on a whim...because my high school boyfriend was going to be a doctor and it just seemed "cool" to fill the scripts he wrote...I have always wanted to do something with my artistic, creative side. ALWAYS.
Nothing matters more to me now than getting away from the stress of a job I don't even like. I have penny pinched and saved so I could make this day happen. I put my time in and I got way more out of it than the cost of my education. It is my past. And I do not regret leaving it there...in the past....on the East coast.
For the record, for me to continue to be a pharmacist in California, I would need to retake the Boards. Yes, I could study and yes I probably could pass, I know I am smart and if I put my mind to it I could do it. But why? I didn't want to learn about the drugs to stay proficient while doing my job...I certainly don't want to learn about them so I can pass a test so that I can KEEP doing that job. So, no I WON'T do it. I DO NOT want to be responsible for people's lives anymore PERIOD!
The Future
I am not sure what my future holds, but I know it will never involve a job where people's lives will be in my hands. It is a responsibility I have had and one I did not like.
I am hoping that Walmart puts me in the Bakery, that I learn to decorate cakes. And if that doesn't work out, I will volunteer at The Living Desert until a job opens up and I can work around animals. These are two of my passions and whatever my future holds it will involve doing something I am passionate about, whether I earn money doing it, remains to be seen.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Racism, Bigotry and mean people
For longer than I can remember----my mom loves to tell the story of my 5th birthday party, which I can't really remember---I have had diversity in my friendships. My mom said I could invite over some kids from school and was surprised when my friends consisted of the United Nations...an Asian girl, an Indian, an African American and a caucasian too. Whenever I had talked about my friends I had never mentioned anything about their race...because it doesn't matter.
Even though most of both of my parents' families were bigots, it never changed how I felt about people who were different than me.
In college I wore a Anti-racism pin proudly. I was once stopped in a grocery store by a very large black man...he just kind of pointed at my shoulder and said "Cool pin". I remember this incident because I wonder what my facial expression showed...because while a black guy doesn't scare me---a really tall, muscular stranger of any race can be intimidating when you are shopping alone in Philadelphia!
I went to college in the late 80's. Some of my friends lived next door to a gay man who was in the early stages of AIDS. It never occurred to me to be anything but nice to him, and there was still a lot of misinformation about how the disease spread.
A cousin of mine started dating a black guy. It was interesting to watch how the family accepted him. He was very dark skinned, no denying he was a black man. Yet, he was okay. I never understood and still can't understand the mentality that you can accept ONE person out of a group you dislike just because they are suddenly in your "circle". Why can't you see that if perhaps this one is okay maybe, just maybe, all of the others are as well? Maybe all of your previous stereotypes and misgivings are outdated lies passed down to you by ancestors who just didn't know any better. Why can't YOU stop perpetuating racism? Because even though they accepted her boyfriend, in private they still bad mouthed the black people they worked with or saw in the city. Not knowing the person just where they lived and how they dressed...and judging based on that.
It's hard to not feel like you condone that behavior if you are around it and keep quiet but it's even harder to make people like that see how wrong their thinking is. I am really glad that society has at least come far enough now that most intelligent people dare not voice those opinions unless they are sure they are in similar company. I say that because my husband had to witness on a regular basis people who don't quite get that not everyone is a bigot, perhaps they don't even consider themselves bigots. He had customers come in all the time using rude terms to describe the President. They would talk about the gay teller who used to work there with very politically incorrect terms. How do you handle that? The customer is always right? I don't think so. This also happened to me at my last temp job. As I felt my face getting redder and redder with the discussion of how perverted homosexuals are... I finally said "You DO realize my best friend is gay, right?" And knowing they were Catholic went off on a rant about the real perverts, priests....hey I'm a red head --don't you know the stereotype? We are hot headed...don't piss us off!
Back to college....I was harassed one night riding the subway alone....There were 4 or 5 black guys, one very obviously drunk or high. He decided to torment me...calling me names, assuming I was racist and finally telling me I was going to give him my leather jacket before I got off the train. Well...that wasn't going to happen because I had just bought it on my new store credit card, I certainly wasn't going to be stuck paying for something I didn't own anymore! I just ignored him, looking around for help from other riders, most avoided eye contact. I decided it would be much safer to get off the train earlier than my regular stop. As I went to exit the doors, he came up behind me and grabbed hold of my jacket "Where you goin' white girl, I told you that jacket was mine", I struggled and luckily the jacket was zipped, so he couldn't get it off of me, the doors started to close and I fell hard onto the concrete, spilling a bag of groceries and bruising my knees really badly. The subway attendant ignored me but a man wearing a sweater vest came up and helped me...a black man, this becomes important later. He asked how he could help me, I said I wanted to call my boyfriend. He realized I couldn't dial and couldn't really talk, he took the phone from me and said "I got your girlfriend in the subway" to my hysterical boyfriend who had only gotten sobs out of me before the guy had taken the phone. He asked if I wanted him to wait with me on the street level and for some reason I thought it might be safer to wait below where at least the attendant could help me if this guy turned out to not be so nice after all. Turns out he was a law student at Temple. So my boyfriend shows up carrying one of those "clubs" you used to use to lock your steering wheel...he's swinging and yelling at the guy who was helping me (as if the would be mugger waited around to get beat up!).
I ended up being fine, just some nasty grease spots on my pants and 2 badly bruised knees.
The point of that story--only ONE of the guys was harassing me. I didn't use this as justification to decide that ALL black people were bad. This is the mentality my boyfriend had...because his dad had been murdered by a black guy...so he storms into the subway after hearing a black man's voice saying I got your girlfriend and assumes the worst. I refused to use one incident to change who I was. I looked at the fact that 1 of 5 guys was an ass, and he was drunk. I have been harassed in different ways a lot more times by drunk white guys. Plus my savior was black, do I just conveniently forget that?
Stephen Colbert jokes that he doesn't see color. I don't really either, I would make a horrible witness. I am more likely to remember the hideous shirt you are wearing than remember what color your skin is. Or if you have a freaky haircut. You have to have something really remarkable about you for me to remember any detail...and your skin color is just not remarkable to me.
I don't want to get political but I find it funny that a certain political party loves to defer to the Constitution about this or that. They want to talk about what are forefathers intended this country to be. They forget are forefathers were racist slaveowners. America SHOULD be a society were everyone is treated equally and yet there are still a majority of states that allow you to refuse service to homosexuals...I mean seriously WHAT THE FUCK?? Why do people refuse to see the parallels between this and the whole whites only fountains and all the other ridiculous shit that went on not that long ago.
Why are we concerned about chemical weapons in Syria, while ignoring that Russia should NOT be allowed to host the Olympics? Why are we even in ANY country's business when we still have shit to fix here regarding civil rights.
So I covered the racism and the bigotry.... what about the mean people... I really don't want to use the term mean people....dickheads, asshats, douchebags, twatwaffles, morons, idiots...they all seem more appropriate...the people who think that any group deserves less than they do...THOSE people are the ones I don't like...round them up and send them to the moon....they can live in their all white, probably mostly male...although there sure are a number of douchebag women I could name right off the top of my head...I am so glad that we are forcing THOSE people into a closet...a closet of hatred, where they can quietly seethe that gay marriage is going to be allowed everywhere, they can blindly think that racism against black people is history and maybe just one day they will all die off and we can finally have a truly equal society!
Even though most of both of my parents' families were bigots, it never changed how I felt about people who were different than me.
In college I wore a Anti-racism pin proudly. I was once stopped in a grocery store by a very large black man...he just kind of pointed at my shoulder and said "Cool pin". I remember this incident because I wonder what my facial expression showed...because while a black guy doesn't scare me---a really tall, muscular stranger of any race can be intimidating when you are shopping alone in Philadelphia!
I went to college in the late 80's. Some of my friends lived next door to a gay man who was in the early stages of AIDS. It never occurred to me to be anything but nice to him, and there was still a lot of misinformation about how the disease spread.
A cousin of mine started dating a black guy. It was interesting to watch how the family accepted him. He was very dark skinned, no denying he was a black man. Yet, he was okay. I never understood and still can't understand the mentality that you can accept ONE person out of a group you dislike just because they are suddenly in your "circle". Why can't you see that if perhaps this one is okay maybe, just maybe, all of the others are as well? Maybe all of your previous stereotypes and misgivings are outdated lies passed down to you by ancestors who just didn't know any better. Why can't YOU stop perpetuating racism? Because even though they accepted her boyfriend, in private they still bad mouthed the black people they worked with or saw in the city. Not knowing the person just where they lived and how they dressed...and judging based on that.
It's hard to not feel like you condone that behavior if you are around it and keep quiet but it's even harder to make people like that see how wrong their thinking is. I am really glad that society has at least come far enough now that most intelligent people dare not voice those opinions unless they are sure they are in similar company. I say that because my husband had to witness on a regular basis people who don't quite get that not everyone is a bigot, perhaps they don't even consider themselves bigots. He had customers come in all the time using rude terms to describe the President. They would talk about the gay teller who used to work there with very politically incorrect terms. How do you handle that? The customer is always right? I don't think so. This also happened to me at my last temp job. As I felt my face getting redder and redder with the discussion of how perverted homosexuals are... I finally said "You DO realize my best friend is gay, right?" And knowing they were Catholic went off on a rant about the real perverts, priests....hey I'm a red head --don't you know the stereotype? We are hot headed...don't piss us off!
Back to college....I was harassed one night riding the subway alone....There were 4 or 5 black guys, one very obviously drunk or high. He decided to torment me...calling me names, assuming I was racist and finally telling me I was going to give him my leather jacket before I got off the train. Well...that wasn't going to happen because I had just bought it on my new store credit card, I certainly wasn't going to be stuck paying for something I didn't own anymore! I just ignored him, looking around for help from other riders, most avoided eye contact. I decided it would be much safer to get off the train earlier than my regular stop. As I went to exit the doors, he came up behind me and grabbed hold of my jacket "Where you goin' white girl, I told you that jacket was mine", I struggled and luckily the jacket was zipped, so he couldn't get it off of me, the doors started to close and I fell hard onto the concrete, spilling a bag of groceries and bruising my knees really badly. The subway attendant ignored me but a man wearing a sweater vest came up and helped me...a black man, this becomes important later. He asked how he could help me, I said I wanted to call my boyfriend. He realized I couldn't dial and couldn't really talk, he took the phone from me and said "I got your girlfriend in the subway" to my hysterical boyfriend who had only gotten sobs out of me before the guy had taken the phone. He asked if I wanted him to wait with me on the street level and for some reason I thought it might be safer to wait below where at least the attendant could help me if this guy turned out to not be so nice after all. Turns out he was a law student at Temple. So my boyfriend shows up carrying one of those "clubs" you used to use to lock your steering wheel...he's swinging and yelling at the guy who was helping me (as if the would be mugger waited around to get beat up!).
I ended up being fine, just some nasty grease spots on my pants and 2 badly bruised knees.
The point of that story--only ONE of the guys was harassing me. I didn't use this as justification to decide that ALL black people were bad. This is the mentality my boyfriend had...because his dad had been murdered by a black guy...so he storms into the subway after hearing a black man's voice saying I got your girlfriend and assumes the worst. I refused to use one incident to change who I was. I looked at the fact that 1 of 5 guys was an ass, and he was drunk. I have been harassed in different ways a lot more times by drunk white guys. Plus my savior was black, do I just conveniently forget that?
Stephen Colbert jokes that he doesn't see color. I don't really either, I would make a horrible witness. I am more likely to remember the hideous shirt you are wearing than remember what color your skin is. Or if you have a freaky haircut. You have to have something really remarkable about you for me to remember any detail...and your skin color is just not remarkable to me.
I don't want to get political but I find it funny that a certain political party loves to defer to the Constitution about this or that. They want to talk about what are forefathers intended this country to be. They forget are forefathers were racist slaveowners. America SHOULD be a society were everyone is treated equally and yet there are still a majority of states that allow you to refuse service to homosexuals...I mean seriously WHAT THE FUCK?? Why do people refuse to see the parallels between this and the whole whites only fountains and all the other ridiculous shit that went on not that long ago.
Why are we concerned about chemical weapons in Syria, while ignoring that Russia should NOT be allowed to host the Olympics? Why are we even in ANY country's business when we still have shit to fix here regarding civil rights.
So I covered the racism and the bigotry.... what about the mean people... I really don't want to use the term mean people....dickheads, asshats, douchebags, twatwaffles, morons, idiots...they all seem more appropriate...the people who think that any group deserves less than they do...THOSE people are the ones I don't like...round them up and send them to the moon....they can live in their all white, probably mostly male...although there sure are a number of douchebag women I could name right off the top of my head...I am so glad that we are forcing THOSE people into a closet...a closet of hatred, where they can quietly seethe that gay marriage is going to be allowed everywhere, they can blindly think that racism against black people is history and maybe just one day they will all die off and we can finally have a truly equal society!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Corporations are people! (and some are evil!)
I swear I am a happy go lucky person. I love life, love my life and am generally in good spirits (unless you catch me on a hormonal day). I say this because my blogs tend to come across a bit angry. The thing is I don't dwell on any of this stuff. I think about it and push it to the back of my mind. That's why I like to be around people who aren't filled with drama and negativity...because then those thoughts would escape from the back and be there all the time and then I wouldn't be so happy.
We could all spend lots of time thinking about the shitty parts of life...the bad people (criminals), the really bad people (whole countries of criminals) and the truly evil people. But we don't get much time here on earth so if you can't change it, don't dwell on it.
That doesn't stop me from having opinions about stuff and even sharing it on facebook--mostly civil rights stuff, but sometimes gun stuff and animal cruelty crap. But I realize that I am probably not going to change anyone's mind....and yet I want to be sure that I don't keep quiet when I see injustices because I don't want people to ever assume I agree with their back ass opinions. But, again, I don't sit around getting irritated by it...my face is getting enough lines from aging...I am done adding worry lines to the mix!
I wanted to get that off my chest before I start another angry blog. This is the story of how I came to hate Walgreens and why I had to quit. And just like my Prozac story wasn't just about Prozac, this pertains to the many nasty evil corporations, because Walgreens and CVS really aren't that different.
I ended up at Walgreens after many short stints at other retail pharmacies. I was with Drug Emporium for 12 years, same job since graduation. After they went out of business I had a hard time replacing them. It wasn't a small company, there were stores in many states...maybe 80? But it wasn't a large behemoth like Rite Aid and CVS. My bosses always knew my name and my work ethic. I even knew the big wigs. They were good people. They listened to your side when a customer complained. They knew how to criticize constructively and how to praise when deserved. It was a great place to work and I never truly appreciated that because I was too busy hating my career to realize that my JOB was good.
After Drug Emporium I went to Giant, it seemed like a grocery store might be less stressful, the problem was it was full time, which I wasn't used to, and I was low man on the totem, so I was a floater. I lasted 6 months and moved on to a family owned grocery store. I thought smaller might be better and it would be more like DE...wrong! I lasted a little more than a year before the nepotism and backstabbing became unbearable. Back to Giant I went...I lasted 3 years this time. I think at this point PeriMenopause began and the hormone shifts really caused most of my discontent. I didn't realize that then, now I can differentiate between what I really feel and what my hormones make me THINK I feel. So on a work related trip to the Post Office I called Walgreens. They were going to give me a schedule I wanted, so I jumped ship again. Thank God the days of sign on bonuses had ended (just a month or two before I started with them). Their bonuses required a 3 year commitment. I lasted about 2 1/2 years.
Right away I was unhappy because the people I worked with didn't like each other a lot and the manager was a control freak with authority issues. It wasn't the most pleasant work environment, but I was working 3 eight hours days, so I thought I could suck it up. I really liked some of the people, just the tension between them was stressful. Upper management was constantly changing so no one got to know me or what kind of worker I was. I don't think it would have mattered anyway --all they cared about were metrics.
What are metrics, you say? How does that relate to pharmacy?
Well, you weren't expected just to check the prescriptions that the techs at your store were filling, you were supposed to check other stores, too. God forbid you weren't busy every second you were there. When I first started I actually got a lunch break...that didn't last long, the demands were so high that you couldn't take a lunch break. They kept taking away help while asking more of you. They convinced me to become an immunizer. They expected you to call assigned customers to ask about their recent prescriptions. I was in charge of calling parents of children who recently got antibiotics filled. I know I wouldn't want my pharmacist calling 3 days later to ask how my kid was feeling and if I had any questions. I was good at figuring out which people wouldn't answer so I could just click the "No Answer" box...yes, there was actual form to be filled out on the store's intranet...at CVS they actually timed your call to make sure you were trying hard enough (or so I have read on pharmacy message boards). We were supposed to start doing counselling that we(the company) would be paid for by insurance companies...it was all to get customers to use less expensive meds. You were supposed to call the Dr. and get the ok to change the drug and then call the patient to tell them what you were doing. There was a class action lawsuit that got that all changed....now you had to have patient approval BEFORE you called the doc...how many people do you think want to switch off a med that's working for them just to save their insurance company some money? Luckily, being part time, I got around doing that crap.
I was ok with the flu shots at first. They were done at clinic times, assigned when one pharmacist could devote their time to just doing that. But then some genius decided they should be offered every day 9-5. I once worked almost 30 days in a row because I was the only one willing to do shots in our store. Never once did I get a thank you and then they even screwed me out of Jury Duty pay...saying my hours over the previous year didn't average out to enough for me to get pay. Stockholders should love Walgreens because all they care about is $$$. They pretend to care about your health but refuse to stop selling cigarettes and even launched a lawsuit somewhere in CA when a law was passed not allowing pharmacies to sell cigarettes but big box stores still could.
Eventually they realized flu shots were very lucrative and customers liked the convenience of not going to their doctor. So someone got a bug up their ass that EVERY pharmacist in every store was going to be an immunizer, like it or not. They wanted 100% compliance not 99%. They wanted to offer shots round the clock, no appointments...but not schedule an extra pharmacist, you were just going to squeeze people in in between scripts...sounds like a recipe for disaster. And it was. Mistakes were increasing....because all the while the metrics were increasing and staffing was still dropping. It was mentioned on the weekly conference call (which HAD to take place on Monday, the busiest day in a retail pharmacy!) but it was dismissed as not really being a problem. The metrics now included not just how many scripts you needed to fill at other stores but now you needed to do x# of shots a day as well. And start pushing the Pneumonia shots...even though most patients need these ONCE in a lifetime and half the old people can't distinguish between a flu shot and a pneumonia shot, but we had to take their word, if they said they wanted it, give it to them.
Through all of that bullshit, I stayed. Until they took the 100% too far. The following summer they started hounding the pharmacists who hadn't gotten certified. One of the pharmacists had an ethical objection. He watched his friend die slowly from Guillan Barre syndrome, which depending on who you believe is either a very rare side effect from the flu or perhaps happens much more commom but isn't reported as such. I now know of at least 3 people who have known people who got Guillan Barre from a flu shot. And yet it allegedly only occurs in less than 1 in a million people....
So he refused until the last hour when he was told he needed to become certified but did NOT need to administer shots. He finished the training within the deadline but was taken off of the schedule....he was not called to be told he was off the schedule. The original threat was if you don't get certified you will not be allowed to work during flu shot season, unless you are in a store that has an immunizer there with you...most stores are not busy enough to warrant 2 pharmacists round the clock so basically you weren't going to work from September through January.
I don't remember the specifics of how he handled discovering he wasn't on the schedule but basically he was told that if he refused to immunize it didn't matter that he had become certified. The policy on the store intranet had been changed so the wording no longer stated that you had to be certified, you now had to immunize! He is a smart man and had printouts of all emails and the policy before it was changed. He also asked about working at another store that would have an immunizer with him...they offered him an overnight shift an hour's drive away...hardly accommodating. He declined and decided to wait it out. Meanwhile consulting a lawyer. It was discovered that there were 2 new hires, neither an immunizer, working alone in a store much closer than the one he was offered. No explanation could be given as to why they were exceptions.
To cut the story short (ok- not AS long!) one day he calls Human Resources with a benefits question and finds out he was terminated...this in December, he still thought he would be coming back at the end of flu season! The lawsuit is still in progress 3 years later...
The day they did this to him I made a phone call to my future new employer. I dragged my feet because I truly do hate changing jobs and switching to an independent filled with all male pharmacists seemed a bit overwhelming (it wasn't!) but eventually I got out before December.
The biggest reasons I left were because Walgreens made it abundantly clear they do not care about their employees at all....I didn't mention the several pharmacists who are afraid of needles and were forced to get certified..one even PASSED OUT during the skills portion of the testing. Just so they could have commercials that say ALL of our pharmacists are certified immunizers. They don't mention the shitty training you get...which brings me to the second reason. It wasn't enough to make us give flu shots, now we had to offer ALL vaccines. The shingles shot being their next pet project. The flu shot is an IM shot...in the muscle, not that hard to do, and yet with some larger patients, I am sure I didn't hit the muscle and their vaccine leaked out...no one told us what to do in THAT situation. The shingles shot is SC --under the skin. The sum total of my experience in training was 2 IM shots and 1 SC shot...and that had been done 2 years previous. The shingles shot can give some sort of rashy reaction in some people and isn't quite as simple as the flu shot. I did not feel comfortable doing this but of course that didn't matter. I NEVER gave a shingles shot, I avoided it until I quit, finally confessing to the pharmacy manager that I would NOT give the shot and that my days were numbered.
The final reason I left was I had a really strong feeling they were going to be changing the pharmacy hours and that I would either lose a shift or be forced to work one in another store...and as bad as my store was...I had worked in worse! I was right within 6 months they changed the Saturday hours and my shift was gone.
Some may say it's a corporation, it should be concerned with it's bottom line....that may be fine when safety isn't compromised but I promise you...when checking other stores scripts virtually, I caught some BAD mistakes, some on refills...and I witnessed some bad mistakes....some requiring hospitalization (and ironically that one never got reported properly because it was the bitchy Miss Perfection who would write your ass up if you misspelled a word on a label but she didn't report her own potentially fatal mistake...and remember the reports are to PROTECT the pharmacist not penalize them....un hunh....sure!) I had 2 evaluations while there, both mediocre compared to evaluations I received elsewhere and in the comments section on areas I could improve I put that if I was provided with proper adequate help I am sure the number of STARS (that would be mistake reports) would go down. I was covering my ass for the possible "real" mistake that might happen with the pressure from trying to reach the metrics with less and less help.
This is just how they treat their pharmacists....the professionals....the ones they used to have to bribe with $10,000 sign on bonuses before the economy went down the tubes. I guess they don't realize the economy won't always suck..and one day when they start opening stores on every corner again, they will have a staffing problem and no one will want to work for them. They treat their front end people just as bad...just in my district I would see managers and assistant managers driving 30-40 miles to their store while driving past several other stores on the way. And the people in those towns would be driving 30-40 miles to my store. Why can't they just let them work in the store closest to them? They just want to play mind games with them...let them know who holds the cards. They are asses....could it be it was just the district I was in? I suppose...but the store intranet had a site where employees could respond to the big wigs blog...and even though you KNOW they KNEW which computer was being used to make the comments, these people would say the same things about their districts. There were lots of dissatisfied employees at Walgreens. And that's why you get such shitty service.
I recently read that Trader Joe's treats their employees really well and that the company is doing really well, because they have happy employees. The article blamed Circuit City's demise on unhappy employees with shitty working conditions. I am sure Walgreens is too big to fail but Oh how I secretly wish for their failure so they can see that you can not treat people that way and make it.
I do my best to not shop there, I have bought bottled water when on vacation because God their stores are everywhere! But they will never see me there, mainly because their prices are ridiculous...even with my discount their prices were double and triple that of Walmart. And their $4 plan...you have to pay $20 a year to get those prices and people are stupid enough to keep coming there. I guess some people hate Walmart--because let's face it they fall into the evil category also..but they are the only major pharmacy where a pharmacist is not being FORCED to immunize....
and how do you feel about that? Getting stuck by someone who was bullied into doing it...with only an 8 hour course...maybe had a fear of needles...do you think that's a good idea?
A lot of pharmacist went into pharmacy instead of nursing or medical school because they didn't want direct patient contact...so much for that...I can't tell you how many people didn't bother to shower before coming for their shot...I think the gloves I wore may have been to protect me!
On a final note...don't be an ass to the person with a syringe...I would talk softly and with a relaxing tone and tell them the secret on how to make the needle go in unnoticed to MOST people....but not the dickheads...they just got stuck, no pep talk! (The secret is to keep your shoulder relaxed, I could tell if the shoulder is hiked up next to the ear...it hurt...the nice ones I would actually push down on the shoulder to help them realize they weren't relaxing or distract them with a question and then BOOM! but the dick heads ---oh how I enjoyed watching them wince! Maybe I have a little evil in me too!)
We could all spend lots of time thinking about the shitty parts of life...the bad people (criminals), the really bad people (whole countries of criminals) and the truly evil people. But we don't get much time here on earth so if you can't change it, don't dwell on it.
That doesn't stop me from having opinions about stuff and even sharing it on facebook--mostly civil rights stuff, but sometimes gun stuff and animal cruelty crap. But I realize that I am probably not going to change anyone's mind....and yet I want to be sure that I don't keep quiet when I see injustices because I don't want people to ever assume I agree with their back ass opinions. But, again, I don't sit around getting irritated by it...my face is getting enough lines from aging...I am done adding worry lines to the mix!
I wanted to get that off my chest before I start another angry blog. This is the story of how I came to hate Walgreens and why I had to quit. And just like my Prozac story wasn't just about Prozac, this pertains to the many nasty evil corporations, because Walgreens and CVS really aren't that different.
I ended up at Walgreens after many short stints at other retail pharmacies. I was with Drug Emporium for 12 years, same job since graduation. After they went out of business I had a hard time replacing them. It wasn't a small company, there were stores in many states...maybe 80? But it wasn't a large behemoth like Rite Aid and CVS. My bosses always knew my name and my work ethic. I even knew the big wigs. They were good people. They listened to your side when a customer complained. They knew how to criticize constructively and how to praise when deserved. It was a great place to work and I never truly appreciated that because I was too busy hating my career to realize that my JOB was good.
After Drug Emporium I went to Giant, it seemed like a grocery store might be less stressful, the problem was it was full time, which I wasn't used to, and I was low man on the totem, so I was a floater. I lasted 6 months and moved on to a family owned grocery store. I thought smaller might be better and it would be more like DE...wrong! I lasted a little more than a year before the nepotism and backstabbing became unbearable. Back to Giant I went...I lasted 3 years this time. I think at this point PeriMenopause began and the hormone shifts really caused most of my discontent. I didn't realize that then, now I can differentiate between what I really feel and what my hormones make me THINK I feel. So on a work related trip to the Post Office I called Walgreens. They were going to give me a schedule I wanted, so I jumped ship again. Thank God the days of sign on bonuses had ended (just a month or two before I started with them). Their bonuses required a 3 year commitment. I lasted about 2 1/2 years.
Right away I was unhappy because the people I worked with didn't like each other a lot and the manager was a control freak with authority issues. It wasn't the most pleasant work environment, but I was working 3 eight hours days, so I thought I could suck it up. I really liked some of the people, just the tension between them was stressful. Upper management was constantly changing so no one got to know me or what kind of worker I was. I don't think it would have mattered anyway --all they cared about were metrics.
What are metrics, you say? How does that relate to pharmacy?
Well, you weren't expected just to check the prescriptions that the techs at your store were filling, you were supposed to check other stores, too. God forbid you weren't busy every second you were there. When I first started I actually got a lunch break...that didn't last long, the demands were so high that you couldn't take a lunch break. They kept taking away help while asking more of you. They convinced me to become an immunizer. They expected you to call assigned customers to ask about their recent prescriptions. I was in charge of calling parents of children who recently got antibiotics filled. I know I wouldn't want my pharmacist calling 3 days later to ask how my kid was feeling and if I had any questions. I was good at figuring out which people wouldn't answer so I could just click the "No Answer" box...yes, there was actual form to be filled out on the store's intranet...at CVS they actually timed your call to make sure you were trying hard enough (or so I have read on pharmacy message boards). We were supposed to start doing counselling that we(the company) would be paid for by insurance companies...it was all to get customers to use less expensive meds. You were supposed to call the Dr. and get the ok to change the drug and then call the patient to tell them what you were doing. There was a class action lawsuit that got that all changed....now you had to have patient approval BEFORE you called the doc...how many people do you think want to switch off a med that's working for them just to save their insurance company some money? Luckily, being part time, I got around doing that crap.
I was ok with the flu shots at first. They were done at clinic times, assigned when one pharmacist could devote their time to just doing that. But then some genius decided they should be offered every day 9-5. I once worked almost 30 days in a row because I was the only one willing to do shots in our store. Never once did I get a thank you and then they even screwed me out of Jury Duty pay...saying my hours over the previous year didn't average out to enough for me to get pay. Stockholders should love Walgreens because all they care about is $$$. They pretend to care about your health but refuse to stop selling cigarettes and even launched a lawsuit somewhere in CA when a law was passed not allowing pharmacies to sell cigarettes but big box stores still could.
Eventually they realized flu shots were very lucrative and customers liked the convenience of not going to their doctor. So someone got a bug up their ass that EVERY pharmacist in every store was going to be an immunizer, like it or not. They wanted 100% compliance not 99%. They wanted to offer shots round the clock, no appointments...but not schedule an extra pharmacist, you were just going to squeeze people in in between scripts...sounds like a recipe for disaster. And it was. Mistakes were increasing....because all the while the metrics were increasing and staffing was still dropping. It was mentioned on the weekly conference call (which HAD to take place on Monday, the busiest day in a retail pharmacy!) but it was dismissed as not really being a problem. The metrics now included not just how many scripts you needed to fill at other stores but now you needed to do x# of shots a day as well. And start pushing the Pneumonia shots...even though most patients need these ONCE in a lifetime and half the old people can't distinguish between a flu shot and a pneumonia shot, but we had to take their word, if they said they wanted it, give it to them.
Through all of that bullshit, I stayed. Until they took the 100% too far. The following summer they started hounding the pharmacists who hadn't gotten certified. One of the pharmacists had an ethical objection. He watched his friend die slowly from Guillan Barre syndrome, which depending on who you believe is either a very rare side effect from the flu or perhaps happens much more commom but isn't reported as such. I now know of at least 3 people who have known people who got Guillan Barre from a flu shot. And yet it allegedly only occurs in less than 1 in a million people....
So he refused until the last hour when he was told he needed to become certified but did NOT need to administer shots. He finished the training within the deadline but was taken off of the schedule....he was not called to be told he was off the schedule. The original threat was if you don't get certified you will not be allowed to work during flu shot season, unless you are in a store that has an immunizer there with you...most stores are not busy enough to warrant 2 pharmacists round the clock so basically you weren't going to work from September through January.
I don't remember the specifics of how he handled discovering he wasn't on the schedule but basically he was told that if he refused to immunize it didn't matter that he had become certified. The policy on the store intranet had been changed so the wording no longer stated that you had to be certified, you now had to immunize! He is a smart man and had printouts of all emails and the policy before it was changed. He also asked about working at another store that would have an immunizer with him...they offered him an overnight shift an hour's drive away...hardly accommodating. He declined and decided to wait it out. Meanwhile consulting a lawyer. It was discovered that there were 2 new hires, neither an immunizer, working alone in a store much closer than the one he was offered. No explanation could be given as to why they were exceptions.
To cut the story short (ok- not AS long!) one day he calls Human Resources with a benefits question and finds out he was terminated...this in December, he still thought he would be coming back at the end of flu season! The lawsuit is still in progress 3 years later...
The day they did this to him I made a phone call to my future new employer. I dragged my feet because I truly do hate changing jobs and switching to an independent filled with all male pharmacists seemed a bit overwhelming (it wasn't!) but eventually I got out before December.
The biggest reasons I left were because Walgreens made it abundantly clear they do not care about their employees at all....I didn't mention the several pharmacists who are afraid of needles and were forced to get certified..one even PASSED OUT during the skills portion of the testing. Just so they could have commercials that say ALL of our pharmacists are certified immunizers. They don't mention the shitty training you get...which brings me to the second reason. It wasn't enough to make us give flu shots, now we had to offer ALL vaccines. The shingles shot being their next pet project. The flu shot is an IM shot...in the muscle, not that hard to do, and yet with some larger patients, I am sure I didn't hit the muscle and their vaccine leaked out...no one told us what to do in THAT situation. The shingles shot is SC --under the skin. The sum total of my experience in training was 2 IM shots and 1 SC shot...and that had been done 2 years previous. The shingles shot can give some sort of rashy reaction in some people and isn't quite as simple as the flu shot. I did not feel comfortable doing this but of course that didn't matter. I NEVER gave a shingles shot, I avoided it until I quit, finally confessing to the pharmacy manager that I would NOT give the shot and that my days were numbered.
The final reason I left was I had a really strong feeling they were going to be changing the pharmacy hours and that I would either lose a shift or be forced to work one in another store...and as bad as my store was...I had worked in worse! I was right within 6 months they changed the Saturday hours and my shift was gone.
Some may say it's a corporation, it should be concerned with it's bottom line....that may be fine when safety isn't compromised but I promise you...when checking other stores scripts virtually, I caught some BAD mistakes, some on refills...and I witnessed some bad mistakes....some requiring hospitalization (and ironically that one never got reported properly because it was the bitchy Miss Perfection who would write your ass up if you misspelled a word on a label but she didn't report her own potentially fatal mistake...and remember the reports are to PROTECT the pharmacist not penalize them....un hunh....sure!) I had 2 evaluations while there, both mediocre compared to evaluations I received elsewhere and in the comments section on areas I could improve I put that if I was provided with proper adequate help I am sure the number of STARS (that would be mistake reports) would go down. I was covering my ass for the possible "real" mistake that might happen with the pressure from trying to reach the metrics with less and less help.
This is just how they treat their pharmacists....the professionals....the ones they used to have to bribe with $10,000 sign on bonuses before the economy went down the tubes. I guess they don't realize the economy won't always suck..and one day when they start opening stores on every corner again, they will have a staffing problem and no one will want to work for them. They treat their front end people just as bad...just in my district I would see managers and assistant managers driving 30-40 miles to their store while driving past several other stores on the way. And the people in those towns would be driving 30-40 miles to my store. Why can't they just let them work in the store closest to them? They just want to play mind games with them...let them know who holds the cards. They are asses....could it be it was just the district I was in? I suppose...but the store intranet had a site where employees could respond to the big wigs blog...and even though you KNOW they KNEW which computer was being used to make the comments, these people would say the same things about their districts. There were lots of dissatisfied employees at Walgreens. And that's why you get such shitty service.
I recently read that Trader Joe's treats their employees really well and that the company is doing really well, because they have happy employees. The article blamed Circuit City's demise on unhappy employees with shitty working conditions. I am sure Walgreens is too big to fail but Oh how I secretly wish for their failure so they can see that you can not treat people that way and make it.
I do my best to not shop there, I have bought bottled water when on vacation because God their stores are everywhere! But they will never see me there, mainly because their prices are ridiculous...even with my discount their prices were double and triple that of Walmart. And their $4 plan...you have to pay $20 a year to get those prices and people are stupid enough to keep coming there. I guess some people hate Walmart--because let's face it they fall into the evil category also..but they are the only major pharmacy where a pharmacist is not being FORCED to immunize....
and how do you feel about that? Getting stuck by someone who was bullied into doing it...with only an 8 hour course...maybe had a fear of needles...do you think that's a good idea?
A lot of pharmacist went into pharmacy instead of nursing or medical school because they didn't want direct patient contact...so much for that...I can't tell you how many people didn't bother to shower before coming for their shot...I think the gloves I wore may have been to protect me!
On a final note...don't be an ass to the person with a syringe...I would talk softly and with a relaxing tone and tell them the secret on how to make the needle go in unnoticed to MOST people....but not the dickheads...they just got stuck, no pep talk! (The secret is to keep your shoulder relaxed, I could tell if the shoulder is hiked up next to the ear...it hurt...the nice ones I would actually push down on the shoulder to help them realize they weren't relaxing or distract them with a question and then BOOM! but the dick heads ---oh how I enjoyed watching them wince! Maybe I have a little evil in me too!)
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