Just checked in on some stats...and noticed I blogged 20 something blogs each of the first 2 years, dropped down to only 13 in 2015 and this year I am at a measly 8!!!! WTF???
I certainly have enough to say...I spend a lot (like wayyyyy too much) time "writing" blogs in my head when I can't sleep at night. Which is still better than playing Candy Crush, I suppose...(been playing 3 1/2 years and I'm on level 2048 (yes, that is two thousand plus levels!!!) (for the record I only spent about 10 bucks the first year and not a dime since--c'mon you know I am too cheap to piss money away on fake candy!!) Truth be told, I'd rather play Candy Crush, because "writing blogs in my head" keeps me up longer, eventually Candy Crush (and Solitaire, those 5 lives don't last forever you know!!) will make me drowsy enough to sleep.
If only I could come up with a way to write silently in bed....tapping on the keyboard would certainly annoy Dave...and I am not getting out of my cozy bed to go write somewhere else. Do you know how many awesome poems I have written, to only be forgotten in the morning??? (I used to keep a notepad near the bed for that purpose, but as with many of my interests, poetry writing has dwindled off in the past few years (I blame that on my happiness, I was always more poetic when suicidal or depressed)
Anyway, usually, when I "write" these never to be seen blogs in my head, it resolves the issues enough that I don't have the desire to dwell on whatever it was long enough to write a blog...this is great news, as I used to own the title of Longest Dweller on Meaningless, Insignificant Shit. I have surrendered that title and yet still manage to hold the title of Most Likely to Overthink Things Past the Point that a Reasonable Overthinker even thinks is possible...I feel like I should have thrown some more capitals in there, but I won't overthink it...(I find myself hysterical, even if the hubby tells me I am not nearly as funny as I think I am----random fact, a coworker once told me there was a rumor that I used to be a stand up comedian...I laughed and laughed...even I know I am not THAT funny!)
So, it's November, and realistically there is no way I am going to keep blogging the next few weeks...it's friggin' holiday season! Shit is about to get insane at work and haven't you heard?? I am a low level supervisor now...more hours, more responsibility (I suppose in reality there IS, but after working at a job where people's lives were at stake, it's hard to consider keeping a fitting room clean a responsibility (and I mean no disrespect to my coworkers, some of whom do get stressed out). I just hit my 3 year anniversary mark, which is huge for me, because in all my years of pharmacy, I never made it that long without seeking a new job. (Granted at Drug Emporium, I lasted 12 years (they went bankrupt, so even then I didn't leave) but I did annoy my bosses with threats of leaving, which often got me more money, better schedule and often a different store, which lessened my nomadic need to move on). After Drug Emporium, I never made it 3 years anywhere! Now, I am not fooling myself, I have considered leaving this job, but not because I didn't like it, just considering things tha I might like more....I have applied (TWICE!) to be a library aide (a longtime interest I have had) but didn't even get an interview either time and I pursued a position with a marijuana dispensary (I was really on the fence about whether it would feel to much like pharmacy, but alas I never heard from the owner and she opened her store around the time of my promotion, I had considered doing both part time, til I figured out if it was for me, but now I work 5 days a week, so I guess that's out)
I think I may use parentheses too much...randomness shouldn't require parentheses, right? It should just be run on sentences and incongruent (is that the word I want?) paragraphs. I feel like, though I don't spend much thought on punctuation and grammar, perhaps, I still spend too much thought on it, but then I could just be overthinking things again....can you tell I am bored?? I mean seriously what the hell am I even blogging about....and why not spend this time writing my zombie/alien apocalyptic love story, instead of this rambling shit??
Are you still here?
I will tell you why I am blogging tonight....A) the hubby is working B) I am OCD with numbers, competitive with myself...I can't stand that the number of blogs for this year is so low! It's not bad enough that I only run twice a week, just over 4 miles total...now I don't write either...or draw...or play the piano...or go to the shelter to volunteer....what the hell DO I DO?? Well, that is why I accepted the promotion...I felt like I was starting to sink into a pit of laziness, sitting around with too much time and too many choices...but, hey...I am on level 2048!!...where was I? Oh C) writing the book would be a good idea...but it is just too overwhelming...I don't like big tasks, I ask Dave to help me with it, he loves to write...I wanted to tell him the story and have him write it...but he won't cooperate.
So the plan is to write a blog about fostering next....this is our second year doing it...oh it's kittens...you didn't think I meant kids, did you?? Do you know me at all?? Any way...we have been doing it for 6 and 1/2 months straight (since April)....so I think I have a bit I could write about it, but now I am worn out...ok not really...just bored....see why I can't write a whole damn book???? and Dave should be home pretty soon....
Thanks for hanging in there....remember I never made any promises that this blog would ever be anything more than random....
(PS Trump is still the scariest man to ever run for President...he is scarier than this season of American Horror Story and that has caused me at least 2 nightmares!!)
(I wrote that so that I could lose any readers who may some day end up offended by something I write...better you get offended now, God knows what I might say later---especially if Cheeto Hitler gets elected...or if he doesn't and he and his followers don't go "quietly into the night")
Friday, November 4, 2016
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Oh I'd be first to come forward if my sexual harasser gets into politics---warn him if you know him!
Ok, I promised a post about sexual harassment, in response to Trump and his completely inappropriate language --he harasses AND assaults, I have only been the victim of harassment.
I'm so glad I named this blog with the word rambling, though I still feel the need to mention that I do realize I ramble...it's how I think...and just a couple days ago it was pointed out that I overthink...pffft, like I don't know that...I have overthought about it about a billion times!!
So I will try to not get off topic, but no promise.
In college I worked many jobs, one was at CVS. I was a pharmacy student, in my last year of school. I was 21. It was a busy store so there were 2 male pharmacists and 2 female pharmacists on staff. From what I remember, nearly all of the students working there were female. One of the students was dating one of the pharmacists. Both male pharmacists were young Italian males. Why mention they were Italian? The store was in South Philly and these guys were the exact stereotype of an Italian South Philly guy. They thought they were good looking (they were), they thought everyone wanted them (I suppose most did) and they had no problem treating women like shit.
I had hoped to be hired to work for CVS after I was done school, I was also working in a hospital pharmacy, but that didn't pay as well and I didn't like it as much. So I put up with the shit I got at work. I thought if I just sucked it up, one day I would be hired and would work at a different location and be done with these jerks. That is the "why" of why I didn't say anything.
My boyfriend was working at an independent pharmacy and knew he wouldn't be hired there so I got him a job at CVS. I had been working there over a year. The time came to announce who would be hired. There weren't spots for all of us. He got hired (even though he'd been there only a couple of months), the girl dating the pharmacist got hired (even though we all knew she wasn't the brightest or best worker) and an intern who had done a 6 week unpaid rotation through our store (her first and only experience in a retail setting) got hired (she flirted with the male pharmacists and was very pretty). It sounds like sour grapes (is that the expression?), maybe I just wasn't that good. But if that was the case, why not say anything for the year I had worked there and why tell me I could keep working there as a student even though I wouldn't be hired as a pharmacist?
Here's what I put up with, you judge if sexual harassment may have occurred.
Chris (yes that's his real name--I feel no need to protect him more than 25 years later) was a huge flirt. He had a girlfriend, I think they had even gotten engaged at some point. I had a boyfriend, also a south Philly Italian, though not even in the same ball park with looks as these 2 guys. My boyfriend had cheated on me for 8 months before I found out, so I was a little disgusted by a guy who would flirt so openly when we all knew he had a girlfriend, And don't be mistaken, I was a huge flirt, but he just rubbed me the wrong way and I wouldn't participate. Vinny (yup real name) wasn't as flirtatious, especially since he was dating a coworker, but he still made lewd comments or laughed at Chris'.
These are 2 of the more memorable incidents and by far the worse, but this shit happened every time I worked with them. It was witnessed by the female pharmacists, both who looked at me with sympathetic eyes, but ultimately did nothing to help me.
Both instances took place after months of me not playing their games, so I wasn't liked very much.
Once Chris was sitting in a chair and patted his lap for me to come sit in it. I must have looked at him like he was insane and just turned around and ignored him. He then told Vinny that he felt sorry for my boyfriend because I was obviously a "ice princess" (or something like that) in bed.
The worst incident was me standing at the counter, counting pills, and I hear Vinny and Chris giggling. I turn around and I have no idea why they are laughing but clearly it is at me. I glance over at one of the female pharmacists and she looks down at the floor beneath me. I look down and there is a mirror on the floor. I am wearing a skirt. I am sure they were too far away to actually see anything, they were merely doing it to HARASS me.
Again, I was young, not nearly as confident and mouthy as I am now, so I said nothing.
When I wasn't hired, I was pissed. How dare they hire everyone BUT me (yes, all senior students, plus the unpaid intern were hired, but there wasn't a position for ME!)...isn't that the very definition of sexual harassment?? So I requested a meeting with the district manager, this was a huge ballsy thing for me to do. I hate conflict and confrontation. When push came to shove, I muttered out some kind of "Why wasn't I hired?" I never mentioned Chris. I think I thought the DM would just say "Oh Chris said not to hire you" and then I would explain why I thought he didn't want me hired. I just didn't have the nerve to outright accuse him or mention why I thought I wasn't hired. It was a complete waste of time. I was told that I was welcome to stay on as a student the remaining 5 months until graduation. Even though I was poor and really needed the money, there was no fucking way I was going deal with Chris' bullshit when I knew I wasn't going to get a job there. I ended acquiring a couple thousand dollars in credit card debt because of that decision, but I don't regret it at all. My boyfriend took the job. I told him I was ok with it...but I wasn't, I felt betrayed. I felt like he should say Fuck them and get another job. I know it's petty, but seriously, you cheated on me and now you stole my job...would it have killed him to find a new one...he had 5 months to look.
So I didn't stop there, at the encouragement of my mother, I contacted NOW. I don't remember what that's stands for but it's some women's right group. When I called a man answered, I don't remember how much of the story I got out before he interrupted with a sports analogy, basically saying I was being a sore loser. This made me angrier and to this day I am not sure why a guy would work for a women's rights group and be so unsympathetic and such an asshole.
Over the years sexual harassment has been such a huge subject, and I think many things have gone too far. joking around and flirting isn't sexual harassment, unless your job is threatened or it makes you uncomfortable and you ask it to be stopped and no one stops it. To this day I still partake in sexually harassing type behavior. I had a boss who used to promise me massages for doing work related favors for him (covering a shift on my day off, stuff like that) He was joking, I joked back..no big deal. The problem is only if one of the parties involved (or even an observer) feels uncomfortable. I know that. What happened to me was exactly that. Except I never reported it, I am not even sure if I asked him to stop, I thought my job was safer if I kept quiet, I was wrong. I guess I should own my part in it. Let it go...and I have...except, you can bet your ass if I find out this douchebag ever runs for political office, I will be first in line with my accusation...even though I have no proof, even though I want nothing out of it. I don't want 15 minutes of fame, I don't want hush money...all I want is for an asshole not to be in a powerful position...hell it pissed me off when I saw his photo in a pharmacy journal as a district manager for duane reade. I wanted to contact them and ask if they realized they had a sexual harasser in that position and if they thought that was wise. But I didn't the effort wasn't worth it, but to keep him out of politics, Yes, yes it would be worth it.
So that is why I can understand why these women haven't come forward. Chris is an ass. But Chris isn't a billionaire who bullies and sues anyone who speaks against him, these women are brave for daring to come forward. There is no way they would piss that cheeto faced asshat off for any other reason than the truth.
It kills me that women still support him, hell defend him....I just can not can not can not....I just can't understand why???
I'm so glad I named this blog with the word rambling, though I still feel the need to mention that I do realize I ramble...it's how I think...and just a couple days ago it was pointed out that I overthink...pffft, like I don't know that...I have overthought about it about a billion times!!
So I will try to not get off topic, but no promise.
In college I worked many jobs, one was at CVS. I was a pharmacy student, in my last year of school. I was 21. It was a busy store so there were 2 male pharmacists and 2 female pharmacists on staff. From what I remember, nearly all of the students working there were female. One of the students was dating one of the pharmacists. Both male pharmacists were young Italian males. Why mention they were Italian? The store was in South Philly and these guys were the exact stereotype of an Italian South Philly guy. They thought they were good looking (they were), they thought everyone wanted them (I suppose most did) and they had no problem treating women like shit.
I had hoped to be hired to work for CVS after I was done school, I was also working in a hospital pharmacy, but that didn't pay as well and I didn't like it as much. So I put up with the shit I got at work. I thought if I just sucked it up, one day I would be hired and would work at a different location and be done with these jerks. That is the "why" of why I didn't say anything.
My boyfriend was working at an independent pharmacy and knew he wouldn't be hired there so I got him a job at CVS. I had been working there over a year. The time came to announce who would be hired. There weren't spots for all of us. He got hired (even though he'd been there only a couple of months), the girl dating the pharmacist got hired (even though we all knew she wasn't the brightest or best worker) and an intern who had done a 6 week unpaid rotation through our store (her first and only experience in a retail setting) got hired (she flirted with the male pharmacists and was very pretty). It sounds like sour grapes (is that the expression?), maybe I just wasn't that good. But if that was the case, why not say anything for the year I had worked there and why tell me I could keep working there as a student even though I wouldn't be hired as a pharmacist?
Here's what I put up with, you judge if sexual harassment may have occurred.
Chris (yes that's his real name--I feel no need to protect him more than 25 years later) was a huge flirt. He had a girlfriend, I think they had even gotten engaged at some point. I had a boyfriend, also a south Philly Italian, though not even in the same ball park with looks as these 2 guys. My boyfriend had cheated on me for 8 months before I found out, so I was a little disgusted by a guy who would flirt so openly when we all knew he had a girlfriend, And don't be mistaken, I was a huge flirt, but he just rubbed me the wrong way and I wouldn't participate. Vinny (yup real name) wasn't as flirtatious, especially since he was dating a coworker, but he still made lewd comments or laughed at Chris'.
These are 2 of the more memorable incidents and by far the worse, but this shit happened every time I worked with them. It was witnessed by the female pharmacists, both who looked at me with sympathetic eyes, but ultimately did nothing to help me.
Both instances took place after months of me not playing their games, so I wasn't liked very much.
Once Chris was sitting in a chair and patted his lap for me to come sit in it. I must have looked at him like he was insane and just turned around and ignored him. He then told Vinny that he felt sorry for my boyfriend because I was obviously a "ice princess" (or something like that) in bed.
The worst incident was me standing at the counter, counting pills, and I hear Vinny and Chris giggling. I turn around and I have no idea why they are laughing but clearly it is at me. I glance over at one of the female pharmacists and she looks down at the floor beneath me. I look down and there is a mirror on the floor. I am wearing a skirt. I am sure they were too far away to actually see anything, they were merely doing it to HARASS me.
Again, I was young, not nearly as confident and mouthy as I am now, so I said nothing.
When I wasn't hired, I was pissed. How dare they hire everyone BUT me (yes, all senior students, plus the unpaid intern were hired, but there wasn't a position for ME!)...isn't that the very definition of sexual harassment?? So I requested a meeting with the district manager, this was a huge ballsy thing for me to do. I hate conflict and confrontation. When push came to shove, I muttered out some kind of "Why wasn't I hired?" I never mentioned Chris. I think I thought the DM would just say "Oh Chris said not to hire you" and then I would explain why I thought he didn't want me hired. I just didn't have the nerve to outright accuse him or mention why I thought I wasn't hired. It was a complete waste of time. I was told that I was welcome to stay on as a student the remaining 5 months until graduation. Even though I was poor and really needed the money, there was no fucking way I was going deal with Chris' bullshit when I knew I wasn't going to get a job there. I ended acquiring a couple thousand dollars in credit card debt because of that decision, but I don't regret it at all. My boyfriend took the job. I told him I was ok with it...but I wasn't, I felt betrayed. I felt like he should say Fuck them and get another job. I know it's petty, but seriously, you cheated on me and now you stole my job...would it have killed him to find a new one...he had 5 months to look.
So I didn't stop there, at the encouragement of my mother, I contacted NOW. I don't remember what that's stands for but it's some women's right group. When I called a man answered, I don't remember how much of the story I got out before he interrupted with a sports analogy, basically saying I was being a sore loser. This made me angrier and to this day I am not sure why a guy would work for a women's rights group and be so unsympathetic and such an asshole.
Over the years sexual harassment has been such a huge subject, and I think many things have gone too far. joking around and flirting isn't sexual harassment, unless your job is threatened or it makes you uncomfortable and you ask it to be stopped and no one stops it. To this day I still partake in sexually harassing type behavior. I had a boss who used to promise me massages for doing work related favors for him (covering a shift on my day off, stuff like that) He was joking, I joked back..no big deal. The problem is only if one of the parties involved (or even an observer) feels uncomfortable. I know that. What happened to me was exactly that. Except I never reported it, I am not even sure if I asked him to stop, I thought my job was safer if I kept quiet, I was wrong. I guess I should own my part in it. Let it go...and I have...except, you can bet your ass if I find out this douchebag ever runs for political office, I will be first in line with my accusation...even though I have no proof, even though I want nothing out of it. I don't want 15 minutes of fame, I don't want hush money...all I want is for an asshole not to be in a powerful position...hell it pissed me off when I saw his photo in a pharmacy journal as a district manager for duane reade. I wanted to contact them and ask if they realized they had a sexual harasser in that position and if they thought that was wise. But I didn't the effort wasn't worth it, but to keep him out of politics, Yes, yes it would be worth it.
So that is why I can understand why these women haven't come forward. Chris is an ass. But Chris isn't a billionaire who bullies and sues anyone who speaks against him, these women are brave for daring to come forward. There is no way they would piss that cheeto faced asshat off for any other reason than the truth.
It kills me that women still support him, hell defend him....I just can not can not can not....I just can't understand why???
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